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After that long day, I logged out from the game and realized it was already 7PM! I quickly hurried back to the bathroom, spent twenty minutes there and then ran out to prepare dinner. I decided to make some rice with fried salmon, which we had quite a bit in the freezer. The pieces of salmon fried with some butter and some spices were always nice, the fluffy white rice, some veggies, and ready! It was a simple dinner, but at this hour we didn’t eat that much to begin with.
I called my daughter and Anna to come out and eat with me, and we enjoyed some nice time together. This time around my daughter was more talkative than before, and wasn’t answered with “hm” or “ok” all the time.
“So is tomorrow anything important in school?” I asked.
“Hm… No, but at the middle of the week there is a Math Test,” said Elena.
“H-Have you studied? Mommy can help you study too…” I said.
“No, I have studied enough,” she said.
“Don’t worry about her, Miss Elayne, Elena is a monster, she always has super good grades in everything… Is she a genius? It’s so hard for me to learn though, so I always ask for her to help me study…” Anna sighed..
“O-Oh, well yeah, my girl has never had problems with grades. Although I used to help her study! But now she doesn’t want anything to do with her mommy…” I sighed.
“That’s not right…” Elena said while looking at me embarrassedly.
“Eh? W-What did you say?” I wondered.
Had she really said “That’s not right.”?! Did she mean she wanted to do stuff with her mommy? My beloved princess wanted to?! R-Really?!
“…Nothing.”
“Ah…”
Oh, she ended up not saying a thing…
“Come on, Elena, your mother loves you a lot… You shouldn’t be so cold… You’re not that cold with me.” Anna said while making Elena avert her gaze from her.
“Don’t get involved in another family’s things…” said my daughter, as she shut down Anna.
“Ugh… She’s really stubborn sometimes.” Anna shook her head.
“Well, don’t worry about it!” I said. “I don’t mind that she’s like that… She probably has her reasons… I… I will wait until she can speak more with me.”
“…”
Elena glanced at me for a bit, although she quickly looked at her food and continued eating in silence. Sometimes I wondered what was going on with her. She became talkative but then went silent again. I think this was just a problem between the two of us… I am trying my best, but it was hard because she created a shell that was very hard to get through… I ended up playing the game just so I could find her there and see if she was different in the game, but I ended up liking it as well, which was conflicting when I thought that I began playing it for her. Now I was here in the present, trying my best to find a way to communicate with my daughter, but it was quite difficult. Well, sometimes it was easy and other times it was… very hard.
I wanted to speak more to her about this, but the two girls were done with their meal, and it was time to bring Anna back home. So we quickly moved out of the house after eating dinner. Anna’s house was not so far from here, just a few streets away, so we moved on foot. Her house was a small apartment, and there wasn’t anybody inside her house, apparently, as the lights were off.
“Well, see ya tomorrow, Elena. Thanks for everything, miss Elayne!” said Anna.
“Take care dear,” I said.
“See ya,” Said Elena.
And then, we were finally alone as we walked back home. Without anyone to intervene, it could be a good place to speak to my daughter more personally… I felt like perhaps inviting Mark for lunch yesterday got her mad, maybe she thought I was trying to replace her father? I have to quickly resolve this misunderstanding.
“Elena…” I said.
“…?” Elena looked at me curiously, wondering what I wanted.
“Erm… Dear, what happened yesterday… You see, Mark is a friend of mine, he’s not a boyfriend or anything like that, I don’t like him romantically either, he’s just a friend, okay?” I said. “I-If you thought that I was trying to replace your father… I want to tell you that it is not the case… Your father was somebody I loved dearly. The only one I ever loved more than your father is you.”
“…”
Elena looked at me as her eyebrows raised in surprise, despite how hard she was trying to make an expressionless face, I could tell that she was bubbling with emotions.
“I-I… Was that out of the sudden? Sorry…” I sighed. “I was just worried you would begin hating me because of that… Our relationship is already hard… I didn’t want to make it harder due to my mishaps… I-I won’t invite him anymore…”
“…”
“A-Are you okay?” I wondered. 𝘰𝑣𝑙.𝘤𝑜𝘮
“No… Don’t worry about it… You can invite anyone you want,” she said.
“Eh? Really?” I asked.
“It’s your house, you can do anything you want… I don’t really have the right to prohibit you for anything…” she said, as she averted her gaze. “You shouldn’t… worry so much… Don’t overthink things.”
“Elena… Thank you for telling me that…” I sighed in relief.
“And…” she said.
“Eh?” I asked.
“I don’t hate you…” Elena looked back at me as she seemed to blush a bit.
“Huh?”
I couldn’t help but grow redder as I felt that my heart was beating faster, hearing my daughter say such a thing to me made me so happy I could even begin to cry now. I always thought she hated me for how I am… B-But she just said she didn’t hate me?! S-She really meant it? She really doesn’t hate me?!
“Y-You really don’t hate mommy?” I asked. “But you… barely talk to me now and… I’ve been feeling so lonely…”
“…Sorry.”
“Eh?!”
“It is hard… I… Since father passed away that… I became like this…”
“Elena…”
“It is hard… Even now… I’m sorry”
“M-My girl… Y-You should have told me that before!”
“…”
My daughter looked down into the street floor as we walked above the snow that had been piling up over the days. I felt the sudden impulse to hug and kiss her, but I contained myself as we were in the middle of the streets, I didn’t want to embarrass her.
“Elena… Mommy loves you lots… You know?” I asked. “Y-You’re the reason of my life.”
“…D-Don’t say such embarrassing things in the streets…” She sighed and grew embarrassed.
“Oh! Heheh… Sorry,” I said while giggling, as I petted her head.
We made our way back to our house after a few minutes, without any problems. I felt happy. I felt so happy… My heart was light as a feather. In fact, my entire body felt light. I felt as if I had accomplished something big by just talking it out with her for a bit… Perhaps playing that game. And interacting with these people… perhaps even killing monsters, it all helped me at building up a bit of courage. I don’t know if I would have been bold enough to do this before.
I knew that not all the problems have been resolved, we won’t go back to how things were before my husband passed away… In fact, that’s impossible, we’ll never be able to go back to those times. We both changed after he passed away. We loved him too much, and his absence left an empty void in our hearts that had been very hard to close or to even fill. It was really difficult and we coped in different ways.
For me, it made me melancholic, crybaby, and even depressed… Meanwhile, my daughter turned her heart into a stone, and covered her emotions with a shell. She probably feared to be hurt again by such tragedies… Maybe she also didn’t want to worry me by getting sad herself, and this was why she became so expressionless.
She didn’t really hate me… But just like me, she’s going through something hard. It was my duty as her mother to comfort her and love her more than anything or anyone, so she could feel happy, protected, and loved…
When we entered the house, I quickly hugged her from behind. I felt her warm little body and it was so comfortable and adorable. I picked up the scent of her hair, and noticed how silky it always had been. I kissed her soft cheeks while I told her how much I loved her.
“I love you so much…” I cried. “You’re the most important part of my life… Without you, I cannot really live…”
“M-Mom…” Elena looked at me while blushing and getting even redder than before, she then hugged me back a bit… It was only a few seconds, but it was all I needed.
“Since you were born, you’ve always been the greatest treasure of my life! And you will always be…” I said. “No person can even get before you. Mark is my good friend but he’ll never replace you or your father, okay? You two are the two halves of my heart, and I am sure that your father… lives within us.”
“Hm… I think so too sometimes,” she said.
It had been almost over five years since my husband passed away, and we had been slowly recovering, but even now, it was still hard. We are still trying our best to resume our daily lives, and to not let such emotions affect our daily lives.
“I-I need to go to sleep now…” she said.
“Okay! I’ll wake you up in the morning like always, and we can eat breakfast together before going to work, okay?” I asked.
“Okay…” she said. I gave her another kiss on her cheek and she walked back to her room.
Uwaaaah! I was so happy! I love her! I love my daughter so much! I wanted her to be happy forever! Alright! Tomorrow I was going to work extra hard to earn money so I could give her the best life she possibly can have! I’ll lift all the stuff and do everything! Mark always paid me extra when he saw that I work hard, so I’d be working TEN TIMES as hard! You’ll see, boss!
What should I buy for her? I wanted to gift her something! M-Maybe another game? Did that VR thing have more games? Probably I should check them out sometime, perhaps she also wanted to play other games! Or maybe some clothes too? Some cute clothes so my princess could also look like one! Uwaaah! Imagining her with a black and white dress really made me so happy, she’s so cute… I wanted to buy her some shoes too, and also more underwear if possible. Also some shampoo, and all the cosmetics she used to look so pretty… Some perfume as well, everything! Everything for my daughter!
…I guess this was how my husband felt when he was spoiling her so much, huh? I also loved to spoil her but now that I could earn money, it gave me such a strong driving force to work extra hard for her… I wanted to give her the best life possible. I also wanted to save money for her college. She’s so intelligent that I was sure it would also be a breeze for her. I can’t wait to see her as an adult and working in what she likes but—ah, no! I didn’t want her to grow up and leave me though! I-I better not think about those times yet.
I moved back to my room and decided to sleep right away. I was too tired and it was already 10 PM, so there was no point in staying awake for too long, as I needed to wake up around 5 AM. I quickly brushed my teeth, put on my pajamas, and moved to bed.
Good night!
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