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Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

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Chapter 128: Thunder Rolling

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Chapter 128: Thunder Rolling

Chapter 128 Thunder Rolling The Qi Long and Dong Qiang crosstalk show was launched at the National Culture Palace in the imperial capital. The first program was the opening by Xie Jin and Li Hedong, which was the traditional program "Tongue Twister"! But it is not "Eighteen Sadnesses", it is relatively simpler. Looking at the program list, everyone thought it was a traditional program, but Xie Jin went crazy and started saying that he was jealous of Qi Long. He got angry, and everyone knew that Deyun’s bad uncle was Qi Long! He was having fun on the stage, shouting, "Is it a big deal to be of a higher generation? I'm Uncle Qi Long! I'm the master of Yue Yunpeng and the others! Even Guo Degang has to call me uncle!" "Being a bad uncle master will make you famous, right? I want to be a bad master master and throw all these jobs to him. Yue Yunpeng, the song of the five rings, right? I can sing the song of the Qixi Festival, too." His partner Li Hedong looked puzzled: "The Qixi Festival song?" [Ahhhh, Qixi, you are one Xi less than Baxi. Ah, Qixi, you are one Xi less than Jiuxi. Finally one day, you will meet Yoxi. What should you do if you meet Yoxi? He is one Xi less than Qixi.] "Wait a minute, what does Yoshi mean?" "Mei Xi, isn't Mei Xi Yoshi?" Xie Jin clapped his hands and shouted. Internationally renowned football star Mei Xi did not play for a single minute in the Chinese stadium during a touring exhibition match. He left the field with a sullen face and told the public that he was injured. However, a few days later, he played most of the game in the island country. This incident caused strong dissatisfaction among Chinese fans and the public, so Mei Xi got a new nickname: Yo Xi! The whole audience burst into laughter and applauded, and some even cheered loudly!

This one joke alone opened up the show, and the performance continued steadily afterwards, completing the opening mission perfectly. "Thank you, uncle master!" Qi Long, who was preparing to go on stage, smiled and thanked Xie Jin for his hard work. Xie Jin waved his hands: "It still has to be your joke, hahaha!" His jokes were provided by Qi Long. Qi Long attached great importance to the special show, so everyone had to watch the show. When he saw Xie Jin's idea of ​​"I am the master", he gave him some jokes and suggestions. The effect was indeed good, and the scene was bustling with excitement. Next it was Qi Long and Dong Qiang's turn to perform a new crosstalk. "Next, please enjoy the crosstalk "It's Hard to Please Everyone", performed by Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang!" "Good!" As soon as the two came on stage, the audience cheered loudly and applauded towards them. "Thank you, thank you!" Qi Long and Dong Qiang bowed slightly to express their gratitude to everyone: "Qi Long, Dong Qiang, thank you for your enthusiastic support!" Qi Long spoke first: "Just now it was Xie Jin and Li Hedong, two crosstalk performers. Xie Jin is our uncle, and he said he envied my fame. No need to envy!" There are a lot of jokes in this scene, and they are all new. There is no need to add too much to the conversation, just start directly. "Why not be envious?" Qi Long shook his head: "Being famous is not good, the pressure is too great. Take us brothers for example, everyone expects us to innovate new programs, but how can there be so many new programs?" Dong Qiang nodded in agreement: "Not good for innovation!" “And I can’t listen to other people’s opinions.” "Hey, why don't you listen to opinions? You should listen to the opinions of the audience friends!" "It's hard to please everyone. Everyone has different opinions. Should I listen to you or him?" “You have to listen to it!” When Qi Long saw that he wanted to listen to everything, he started talking about his own experience. Some time ago, when he was recording a program in Shanghai, an old man recognized him, grabbed him and shouted "Number 38 Qiqi" and wouldn't let go. He quickly broke free, and the old man said he liked us very much.

Although he is from Shanghai, you can tell that Qi Long doesn't speak Shanghai dialect, but a northern dialect that is close to Mandarin, with most words having changed tones. As long as you can understand Mandarin, you can understand him. "Any new works recently?" Qi Long hunched his back and continued to perform the old man's task in a strange voice. Dong Qiang played the role of Qi Long who was talking to the old man: "There are no new works recently!" "Look, look, I'm here to protect you!" Gao Dongqiang held Qi Long back and said, "You are still strong even at your old age. We don't have this business. No wonder you called him No. 38 Qi Qi right away!" "Bao Busy, I'm here to take care of you!" Qi Long bent over and pointed at him. "Oh, you're here to help me? With your accent, you're here to help me!" "What's wrong with my accent? It's the authentic Modu accent!" "Then how can you help me?" "Look at the TV series nowadays. There are large-scale ancient fantasy dramas, large-scale suspenseful ethical love dramas, and large-scale science fiction love action dramas." Qi Long's devilish voice was startling, and when he said the word "large", his voice was particularly high-pitched, which directly scared Dong Qiang. The audience burst into laughter, and Dong Qiang quickly grabbed her when he heard the last one. "You are still strong and healthy, what drama do you watch?" "what happened?" "The last one is about love and action. Are you still watching it at your age?" Dongqiang wondered. "'Magic Phone', haven't you seen it? A personified mobile phone from the future travels to the present and falls in love with the protagonist. They also fight for justice together. There is science fiction, romance, and action. Is there a problem?" Qi Long spread his hands. "Oh," Dongqiang suddenly realized and awkwardly changed the subject: "What about our crosstalk?" "You can have a large-scale ancient costume fantasy fairy-xia crosstalk!" "How did this come about?" "How do you usually perform? Just modify it!" Dongqiang understood as soon as he heard it, and showed his usual performance style, looking at the audience seriously: "Thank you for the enthusiastic applause!" The audience also gave face and applauded. Qi Long, who was playing the old man, was speechless: "You want applause when you come up, you want applause, aren't you ashamed?" "What's there to be ashamed of? Everyone acts like this!" "You are innovative crosstalk performers, you can't do this, you are performing (suddenly loudly) a large-scale ancient costume fantasy fairy tale crosstalk!" Gao Dongqiang was startled again: "Uncle, don't be so startled at our age!" "Just think about it, wouldn't it be wonderful to tell a crosstalk about three lives and three worlds in Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms?" "Dead on stage? How do you say that?!" Qi Long gave him some scientific advice: "Hey, applause can't be called applause anymore!"

"That's what it's called?" "Tianlei!" "Thunder from the sky? Will I get struck by lightning while performing a crosstalk?" Dong Qiang was astonished. “The audience can’t be called the audience anymore!” "That's what it's called?" "All the immortals." "Pig immortals? Are there any dog ​​immortals?" "All the great immortals, referred to as all the immortals!" "Oh, so how do you say this?" Qi Long tried hard to get his hunchback up and shouted into the microphone: "Thank you, all the immortals, for the thunder of heaven!" After saying this, he raised one hand in the air. The scene was filled with laughter, and the audience laughed and gave warm applause. Not only were the audience in the front cheering, but laughter could also be heard from the actors on the side stages. They were all watching quietly from the side curtains, because this show had never been seen before and it was something new, so everyone was curious. They didn't expect it to be such a hit. "Thank you for the warm applause from the audience" turned into "Thank you to the gods for the thundering thunder." The comedy effect is explosive, this is the creative ability of the uncle master! It wasn't over yet, Qi Long asked Dong Qiang to continue to perform like a normal crosstalk actor, and Dong Qiang sang a very common line. “I am very happy to be on this stage and perform for the live audience.” "Ouch, that word is so watery! What are you talking about now?" This time, Dongqiang was not frightened, but shouted in unison with Qilong: [Large-scale ancient costume fantasy fairy tale crosstalk. ] The audience applauded, and Dongqiang looked at them proudly: "I knew he would come up with this trick again." That meant that he was not frightened, but Qi Long suddenly shouted, "Thank you, all the immortals, for the thunder rolling in the sky!" This sudden shouting scared Dongqiang again, and a delayed joke made the audience's laughter, which had just been suppressed, spread again. Dongqiang was embarrassed: "Just tell me what you want to say?" This time, the stage will be called Zhuxiantai, the scene will be called Four Seas and Eight Wastelands, and the performance will be called Dujie. "I am so happy that I can help the immortals from all over the world to overcome their tribulations on this Zhuxian Terrace!" The audience applauded, and just as Dongqiang was about to speak, Qi Long shouted again: "Thunder is rolling!" "Ouch!" Dong Qiang was frightened again: "You can't do this. The supporting actor's heart won't be able to bear it if you keep startling him!" Qi Long straightened his back and said, "This is the old man's opinion. We have absorbed it. There is also the opinion given to me by the young man from the imperial capital. The young man is very polite and has a good attitude." "How did he say?"

Qi Long stood there lazily, still swaying, like a gangster asking for money from elementary school students, and pushed Dong Qiang: "Hey, I know you." "What kind of attitude is this?" "Deyun bad spider!" "Is the spider a decent person, Master?" "Oh, Deyun is a spider!" "Uncle Master!" "Master is a spider!" "Xie Jin, someone is scolding you!" Dong Qiang shouted to the side stage. Qi Long said nonchalantly: "How did I curse? Didn't you say that the uncle is a spider?" "Deyun is a bad uncle!" "Oh, do you have any new works recently?" Dongqiang said with a smile: "There are new works recently." As he spoke, he walked towards Qi Long. Qi Long stepped back in a daze. Dong Qiang spoke slowly. "A large-scale ancient fantasy crosstalk, thunder rolling in the sky!" Qi Long: "What the hell is this? It's too much of a performance. Crosstalk should be performed naturally!" "Do you have any objection?" "Wait for it to get colder." "No need to wait, it's quite cold!" Qi Long used the two words "wait for the cold" and sang the theme song of "Animal World". He then said that the animal world is closest to nature, so if crosstalk wants to be natural, we have to learn from the animal world. He imitated the voice of Mr. Zhao Zhongxiang in a broadcasting voice: [The ice and snow melted, and everything revived. On a vast grassland, there lived a group of unique creatures, the monkeys who performed crosstalk. In this group, an excellent comedian can have many supporting actors at the same time! ] "Why does this sound weird?" [The annual hot season is coming, the male supporting actor Gao Dongqiang is showing off his muscular body and exuding his own aura to attract the funny actors! ] "Is it convenient to take off all the clothes?" [After a while, the male comedian Xie Jin fell in love with the male supporting actor Gao Dongqiang. They came together and excitedly knocked their breasts! ] “Isn’t this too fast?” Qi Long ignored him and opened his hands and knocked on his chest. "Oh, the ape knocks his own?" [Yidu and Peng were very excited. They slowly moved closer. Suddenly, Xie Jin found that there were more than 1,700 pairs of eyes staring at them in the distance!] At this point, Qi Long waved his hand across the audience.

"The audience is watching us courting?" Dong Qiang exclaimed. 【Xie Jin quickly issued a warning to the entire tribe! 】 "How did you warn me?" "I am the master!" Qi Long shouted again, scaring Dong Qiang again. "What the hell!" After Qi Long started speaking in his broadcasting voice, the whole audience laughed at every word he said. These two brothers are causing trouble on the show again, and they didn't even let the animal world off the hook! Qi Long straightened up again: "This is the opinion of the young man in the imperial capital. I also met a leader in charge of literature and art, and he also has an opinion!" "Then you must listen!" Dongqiang nodded immediately. This program was originally performed by a new force of crosstalk from another world, but they were performing on a show, so the scale was smaller. Qi Long added some baggage, and at the end made a satirical joke, replacing the dubbed film with the leader's opinion! (End of this chapter)

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