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Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

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Chapter 135: Dongqiang's Fitness Channel

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Chapter 135: Dongqiang's Fitness Channel

Chapter 135 Dongqiang's Fitness Channel The exam lasted the whole day. As it was Monday, when all the theaters were closed, it did not affect business. Originally, Qi Long was scheduled to record a variety show on Monday, but because a special program for the finals of "I Want to Be on the Spring Festival Gala" took up the broadcast time of "Amazing Challenges", they had to stop recording for two weeks. However, the two-week break did not reduce Qi Long's workload, because he would have to rehearse for the Spring Festival Gala after January. The Spring Festival Gala has five rehearsals, and the program list will be adjusted every time. It is very likely that you will be eliminated at any time. If you are not eliminated, you have to keep participating. So I am really busy. What Qi Long didn't expect was that Dong Qiang was extremely quick to act. He had just been asked to lead people in fitness on the most beautiful night of the small broken station two days ago, and now he had done it. The day after the exam, Qi Long had just woken up and was practicing his lines in his room when there was a knock on the door. Qi Long opened the door and saw Dong Qiang and the photographer behind him: "What are you doing? What show?" "My show, are you ready to work out?"

Before Dongqiang could finish his words, Qi Long had already closed the door. "I'm going to my house to get the spare key!" Dongqiang knocked on the door. Dongqiang said at the beginning that he and Qilong shared the house, but he basically never lived there, so he didn't often carry the key with him. "What?" Qi Long opened the door: "Aren't you too efficient?" Dongqiang pointed to the photographer, director, and script supervisor behind him and said, "These are the company's existing employees. They are the team that will be filming the group variety show for the Qiduo group. I borrowed a few of them!" "You want someone to work overtime to shoot a video for you?" Qi Long felt that there was no need for such a big fuss. Dong Qiang replied: "Pay overtime pay, three times the amount!" Qi Long was speechless at Dong Qiang's inhumane behavior: "It's fine to work out, but wait until I finish my morning exercises, and then you can join me. You must not have done your morning exercises since you came so early." Under the faithful recording of the camera, the way Qi Long and Dong Qiang practiced basic skills was captured for the first time. There are dozens or hundreds of numbers for the rhymes. You can pick a number at random and memorize it. The two brothers were like competing, taking turns to correct each other's mistakes. Dongqiang made more mistakes than Qilong, and he was completely unfamiliar with some of the jokes. Qilong was very proud and said, "I will show this video to your master when it comes out." Haha! Of course, Qi Long also had troubles, and his bad luck showed up again. "What? My luck is so bad when there's a camera? All long segments?" Qi Long looked at the lottery system helplessly. All the ones he drew were long ones. "Don't you know how lucky you are?" Dong Qiang said with a smile: "Okay, okay, that's enough, pack up and go to the gym. Bring your sports clothes, I'll wait for you downstairs!" Dongqiang took the film crew away. Before Qi Long could change his clothes, there was a knock on the door again. The director of the group variety show that Dongqiang had invited to work overtime was standing outside the door. Qi Long glanced at the room in confusion: "Something left behind? Did you catch me?" The director's name is He Haojia, nicknamed Bubble, and everyone calls him Director Pao.

"That's what I told Dong Qiang, but actually I'm giving you this. It's your hidden mission. Once you complete it, the fitness challenge will end immediately. During this time, Dong Qiang can't see or discover it!" what? All the people in Qilong were stunned. It was just a video for a small website, but he made such a big fuss to get the company's professional team over. The director was not willing to be mediocre and had his own ideas. Hidden tasks? Qi Long took the paper. The director, who was afraid of being exposed, left immediately and let Qi Long look at it slowly. Hidden tasks include: sticking small stickers on Dongqiang's back. Qi Long was speechless when he saw this, and took out his phone to start recording a selfie: "Are you crazy? Dongqiang was like he was wearing nothing when he was working out, and he's exposed once he puts this on." "The second task is to let me play our own crosstalk while exercising? Isn't this weird?" "And kick his ass? Aren't you really afraid that I'll get beaten?" After complaining, Qi Long set off with his sportswear. His sportswear consisted of a quick-drying T-shirt and shorts, which were completely fine in the gym with the heating turned on high. Dongqiang is even more ruthless. He just wears a fitness vest with very low cuffs, reaching the waist. Qi Long has complained about his fitness vest more than once, and he can see one or two protruding points when he stands from the side. The two came to the gym and greeted the camera. "Hello everyone, welcome to the Dongqiang Fitness Class, we welcome the first guest of this series!" "You're wrong!" Qi Long corrected. Dongqiang was puzzled: "What's wrong?" "The first victim!" Qi Long said with a sullen face. Dong Qiang laughed helplessly: "We are not here to perform crosstalk, we are here to exercise! Don't be funny!" Qi Long pointed at himself listlessly: "Do I look like I'm kidding?" "Hahahaha, don't worry, our fitness classes are for the general public, so we won't give you too much intensity. Today we're going to learn XJBL!" Qi Long kicked Dong Qiang: "Pay attention, we are recording, what are you talking about, XJBL, what are you practicing for?" Dong Qiang pushed Qi Long in return: "What nonsense are you talking about? XJBL doesn't mean what you think it means, it means bodyweight training!" "Tell me what self-weight training is!" Qi Long put on a crosstalk attitude and successfully completed one of the hidden tasks. Normally, no one would kick someone as soon as they come on stage, but it doesn't matter on the crosstalk stage. There is no distinction between the big and the small on the stage. If Dong Qiang is pulled into the prescribed situation of the crosstalk stage, this action will be reasonable and will not be suspected. Dongqiang gave him some scientific knowledge. Bodyweight training means training without any equipment, relying on one's own body weight. It is suitable for many people who do not have sports equipment and do not like to go to the gym. The simplest movement is push-ups, which can exercise the arm muscles and chest muscles. When Dongqiang was explaining science seriously, Qi Long did not interrupt him, but stood sideways and looked at Dongqiang. After he finished speaking, he said, "I have heard of a method of training abdominal muscles. Dongqiang, I will show you how to do it and see the effect!" Dongqiang looked at him in confusion. What was this guy going to do? At this time, Qi Long took out his mobile phone, went to the oil depot video website, searched for the jokes in the official recording of Qi Long and Dong Qiang's crosstalk special, and held up his mobile phone to the camera and said: "To watch Deyun crosstalk, come to Youku Video!"

After saying that, he started playing his own crosstalk. "Teacher Qi, please wait a moment. Aren't we doing fitness? Why are we talking about crosstalk again? And advertising?" Gao Dongqiang also subconsciously cooperated with Qi Long. Qi Long turned around and said, "People say that watching our crosstalk can make your abdominal muscles develop. So we can do abdominal crunches while listening to Qi Long and Dong Qiang's crosstalk. It will cultivate both internal and external strength and help develop abdominal muscles faster!" “Hahaha,” Dong Qiang laughed twice and said seriously, “Don’t listen to his nonsense. Breathing is very important when you are working out. If you laugh, your breathing will be wrong and your muscles will not be properly controlled, causing damage to your body!” "Then I should listen to Gao Feng, his crosstalk is not funny!" "Hahahahaha! Teacher Qi, can we start working now?" Dong Qiang couldn't help but ask. Yes, we still have to practice. In this situation, Qi Long and Dong Qiang are standing side by side. It is not easy for Qi Long to complete the sticker task because he has to take the stickers out of his pocket, and then all his efforts will be wasted. Being able to complete two hidden tasks is already very good, don’t be greedy! When we started training, Dongqiang told us all the key points of fitness, such as warming up before exercising. Qi Long deliberately joked: "Oh, this sport also has foreplay." Dongqiang ignored him: "Stretch after exercise!" "Don't you have to have a cigarette after exercise?" Dong Qiang grabbed Qi Long's neck and said, "Don't listen to his nonsense. After exercise, the cells in the body need more oxygen, so the breathing speeds up. The harm of smoking at this time is several times more than usual. Try to wait until your breathing is smooth before smoking!" When it comes to fitness, Dongqiang is quite serious and doesn't joke around. In this way, one of them speaks in a crooked way and the other speaks in a correct way, which is quite like a crosstalk performance. "Warm-up begins!" Dongqiang led Qi Long to start marching on the spot, doing movements similar to radio gymnastics, such as turning, sideways, etc. Qi Long did sideways movements and kept talking: "You may not know, when we were in school, Dongqiang's girlfriend stood on my right during the break. His girlfriend always moved differently from others. When I did this, his girlfriend did this!" As he spoke, Qi Long came to Dong Qiang who was doing the exercises seriously. When Dong Qiang raised his right hand to the right and bent down to the left, Qi Long did the opposite, with his hand pointing downward. The two of them put their hands in the air like a heart shape. Dongqiang stopped and pushed him: "My girlfriend is comparing hearts with you?" "You don't care!" "Why don't I care?" "You guys don't know, Dongqiang is a very generous person. When he was in junior high school, he would smoke and hand me the cigarette holder when he saw me coming. He would drink and come over when he saw me coming. He would drink beverages and take a sip when he saw me coming. He would eat beef noodles and take a sip when he saw me coming!" "I'm so generous?" "That's right. One time he was kissing his girlfriend and he saw me coming and asked me if I wanted to kiss him." "Can you have a bite of this? No, we are exercising, why are you thinking about this burden?" Dong Qiang was helpless. "I have to do simple exercises on the hospital bed, otherwise my muscles will atrophy!" "Train well!" Dongqiang now regrets inviting Qi Long. He is too talkative and never stops. The most uncomfortable thing was that, out of habit, he subconsciously continued after Qi Long finished speaking, which resulted in a delay in getting into the main work: "Hurry up, don't make the rhythm too loose, you said yesterday that not everyone can deconstruct crosstalk!"

"Hahahaha, just cut it if you need to, otherwise I'll just post it as a behind-the-scenes clip!" After a long time of commotion, they finally started exercising. Qi Long was dumbfounded. Dong Qiang, who said that the intensity of exercise was not high, told him that the first exercise was push-ups. There is no time limit, no number of times, just do it until you are exhausted. I just went down and couldn't come up again. Hearing this, Qi Long immediately fell to the ground: "I'm exhausted!" "Don't mess around. I can see if you still have the strength. Come on, start." Dong Qiang's standards are very strict. The body must be in line and must reach a certain level. After Qi Long gradually became less capable, he continued to encourage Qi Long. Qi Long surpassed himself and did forty-three push-ups at one time before he fell down. Dongqiang pulled him up and then did squats. Dongqiang demonstrated first. Qi Long found an opportunity behind him, took the sticker, jumped up, jumped on Dong Qiang's back, and put the sticker on him. "Congratulations to Teacher Qi for successfully completing the challenge!" the program team announced. "What success?" Dongqiang wondered. "Teacher Qi has three hidden tasks. If you can tell me two, the campaign will continue!" Dong Qiang thought about it and thought, damn, Qi Long has done so many strange things that no normal person can do! "Let me carry him on my back? Promote our crosstalk at the oil depot? Make up jokes based on what happened on the spot?" "Totally wrong, hahahaha, no need to train anymore!" Qi Long turned around and left excitedly, but his T-shirt was grabbed by Dong Qiang. Dong Qiang also responded quickly: "Come on, let's start the second recording. Applause to welcome the guest of the second fitness channel, Qi Long?" "what?" (End of this chapter)

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