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Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

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Chapter 237: Crosstalk at the Opening Ceremony of the Movement

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Chapter 237: Crosstalk at the Opening Ceremony of the Movement

Chapter 237 Crosstalk at the Opening Ceremony of the Movement Today, under the careful planning of the program team, Sha Yi relived his wedding with his wife. His two sons, who had longed to attend their parents' wedding, also saw it. The couple were very happy and generously treated everyone to a meal. At the dinner table, everyone talked about one thing: "Star Sports Games"! Due to the popularity of "Let's Run", a nationwide craze for name tag tearing has been triggered, and many schools, units, and even some team-building venues have started name tag tearing competitions. The superiors praised him by name and started a nationwide movement. Penguin Video is preparing to hold a celebrity sports meeting, inviting young artists to participate and broadcast the sports competitions continuously for two days via live broadcast. Gao Dongqiang, Wang Jiaer, Qin Xiaoxian, and Yang Chaoyue all took this job. They were going to be athletes. Qi Long also received an invitation, but due to his athletic ability, he was only used as a background figure in the past, so he declined. The program crew still wanted to win over Qi Long, the absolute core of "Let's Run", and finally came up with an idea. Everyone found that Qi Long often refused various variety shows, but never refused invitations to crosstalk performances, so the program team had to settle for the next best thing and invited Qi Long and Dong Qiang to perform crosstalk at the opening ceremony. Of course Qi Long accepted the offer. He had no problem performing crosstalk and he could also go to the competition and cheer for his good friends.

Four athletes were talking about what events they were going to sign up for, mainly running, archery, swimming, high jump and rhythmic gymnastics! The other three, including two middle-aged men who were not invited and Qi Long, gave them advice. "Chao Yue went to shoot the arrow, you koi, you hit the target with your eyes closed!" "Gar, Gar must be running, running out the glory of our team!" "Qin Xiaoxian, you can sign up for anything you want, but remember, it's a sports competition, just don't commit fouls!" "Dong Qiang." When they came to Dong Qiang, Shen Teng and Sha Yi were at a loss. He was too versatile, but one person could only report two things, so they had to make a choice. Qi Long, who was watching the two children perform magic tricks, raised his head and said, "Dong Qiang, do you still need to think about it? It's rhythmic gymnastics. You string the flesh-colored clothes together, make a ball as a prop, throw it forward, roll over several times, and catch the ball with your mouth!" "Dog?" Dong Qiang stared. "Hahahahahaha!" the others laughed. Qi Long continued, "I have prepared the commentary for you. Dong Qiang, who stepped onto the rhythmic gymnastics field, was like a wild dog that had broken free from its reins. At this moment, he was not fighting alone. The Husky, Samoyed, and Corgi were all possessed by him!" Dong Qiang was speechless: "Why is there a line from "Reporting the Dog's Name" here?" Of course this is a joke. He will not participate in rhythmic gymnastics. He plans to participate in swimming and high jump, just to develop his hard skills. Everyone was discussing collective topics at the dinner table. After dinner, on their way home, Qi Long and Dong Qiang discussed the crosstalk to be performed at the opening ceremony. The crosstalk was newly written by Qi Long during his rest period. It is impossible for him to only write "Wedding Scene" during such a long rest period. For someone like him who has a strong cultural support from another world, he can create jokes much faster. Now Qi Long wants Dong Qiang, who has read the script, to express his opinion. Dongqiang basically had no major opinions on the program, but he was also influenced by the script and would think of more interesting jokes to add in, thus creating the program for the two of them: "I'm a Super Coach!" After the star athletes completed the registration process and private practice, it was soon the day of the live broadcast of the Games. The athletes were divided into several regional teams based on their respective places of origin. The Northeast Team, the North China Team, the Northwest and Southwest Combined Team, the Southeast Team, and the Joint Team of Artists from Hong Kong, Macao, Taiwan and Overseas. Most of the German artists led by Dong Qiang were contestants from the North China team. The contestants lined up to enter the venue first, and then the host Huang Jianxiang announced the start of the opening ceremony with his bold hosting style.

The Rockets band, to which Yang Chaoyue belongs, and as the biological daughters of Penguin Video, sang the theme song of this sports meeting: "Born to Win"! [Pick up your weapons with pride, be full of youthful fighting power, fight heartily, and remember that you are born to win! ] After this theme song, there was a crosstalk performance by the invited Qi Long and Dong Qiang. The two of them came on stage, and Qi Long looked at Gao Dongqiang: "Are you talking about Gao Dongqiang, the crosstalk artist?" Audiences familiar with Qi Long know that once these words are spoken, it means that Qi Long is no longer Qi Long, and he has to play someone else. "it's me!" "Come here today to participate in the sports meeting and be an athlete!" "That's right!" "Oh, this sports meet is really well organized. Did you hear the song just now? It's really good, 'Born to Win', telling us that if we have a son, we should make him an ambitious person like Qin Emperor Ying Zheng!" "Oh, so you want to have a son? What about a daughter?" "This song also has a sister piece called 'Giving Birth to Martial Arts'!" "If I give birth to a daughter, I want her to be like Wu Zetian!" "That's right!" "That's right, what's right? You're talking nonsense. Who are you? We're having an opening performance, don't mess it up!" Qi Long put on a surprised expression: "You don't know me?" Dongqiang asked cautiously: "Are you an idol star?" Qi Long shook his head: "No!" "Will your fans flood other people's Weibo posts with insults just because they don't know you?" Dong Qiang continued to ask. Qi Long was puzzled: "No, serious fans don't act like that!" Dong Qiang snorted coldly and put his hands on his hips: "Then I don't know you, who are you?" There were some people in the audience laughing because they were amused by the jokes in the crosstalk. There are also those who have droopy faces, which means they are that kind of people. Qi Long has also come into contact with some idol stars. In fact, many of their fans are just spamming their favorite idols to show their support. Only a small number of fans will curse at those they don't know, which is immature. When their reputation gets bad, they say the whole world is against their brothers and sisters. I am willing to fight the whole world for their brothers and sisters, but they don’t mention why their brothers and sisters have to fight against the whole world. Isn’t it you who caused this? Why should everyone know him? If you don't know him, why don't you introduce him to others? But you just label him as a black fan and call him a paid black fan. People like that think that others are paid for everything. In another world, there is Deyun Society, which has a bad reputation. The audience, after reading a novel written about "Deyun Society", can say that the author received money from Deyun Society. Don't you think that even if Deyunshe wants to promote and change public opinion, does it need to rely on online novels? Short video platforms and public communication platforms, where can't we invest money? The effect will definitely be better than online novel platforms! At this time, the audience watching the opening ceremony also sent barrages in the live broadcast, saying that Qi Long and Dong Qiang were so brave to mock their fanatical NC fans in front of a group of idol stars. There were also fans of this idol star in the barrage, who said they had no disgust at all. They also hated those immature NC fans who went around barking and brought bad luck to their idols. The topic returned to the crosstalk stage. Qi Long boasted about his great achievements in sports. When it comes to sports knowledge, if he says he is second to none, no one dares to say he is first. This naturally caused dissatisfaction among fitness fanatic Gao Dongqiang: "I am a sports person, I want to see how good you are!" "Then let me ask you, in which sport are athletes the least serious?" Qi Long asked the question.

"You have to take any sport seriously!" "You don't know? When it comes to shooting, athletes always turn a blind eye and don't take it seriously!" "Is this a sports question or a brain teaser?" Qi Long spread his hands: "You didn't answer it, I win!" "If you talk like that, you won't be able to answer my question." Dong Qiang said, and then asked the next question: "Who is the most timid on the sports field?" Qi Long raised his head: "The Chinese men's football team, they dodge faster than anyone else when the ball comes!" "No, the men's football team has been doing OK lately. I was talking about something else!" Qi Long shook his head: "I don't know!" Dong Qiang: "Runners are the most timid!" "why?" "Because as soon as the referee raised the gun, they were so scared that they fell to their knees, and when the gun went off, they ran faster than anyone else!" The audience was amused by this clever little joke. When they heard the question, they thought it was about black people. But after the explanation, it turned out to be completely fine. The explanation was very good! Dong Qiang's question stumped Qi Long, who immediately fought back. "If you say so, let me ask you, which referee is the most unreasonable?" "South Korean referees," Dong Qiang said without hesitation, "but we have to treat them with compassion. After all, they are so young and blind!" "Wrong, all the referees in this event around the world are unreasonable!" "Then I don't know!" "In a boxing referee's game, when one player knocks the other down, he will side with the winner!" Dong Qiang was not convinced: "If you say so, who is the most fussy in the sports field? (Who?) Weightlifting, fussy!" "Who is the most aggressive? (Who?) High jump, aggressive!" The two's skill in mother-and-child gags was on full display, with one sentence following another in a smooth connection. The jokes were like a machine gun sweeping at the audience. As soon as you heard the previous joke, the next person had already said the next one. Sailing that changes with the wind, playing basketball with a bang, archery with a tug of war, and race walking with a pinch of tongue. When it came to the race walking, Qi Long began to move forward awkwardly on the spot, which gave the audience a chance to breathe and applaud the two people's performance, in which they spoke quickly but not chaotically, and everyone could hear every joke clearly! Absolutely amazing! Isn't this a crosstalk tailor-made for the sports meeting? It's so suitable! But this is not the end. This is just the opening and the main part. It is a narrative and exaggerated crosstalk. "Stop being awkward. I've been playing with you for so long. Can you tell me who you are?" Qi Long patted his chest vigorously: "Cough cough cough cough!" "My goodness, with this kind of physical fitness, you still have achievements in sports?" Dong Qiang pointed at Qi Long and said sarcastically. Qi Long, who had caught his breath, waved his hand and said, "I am a super coach!" "Oh, you're a coach, can't you finish talking about it earlier? What do you teach?"

Qi Long looked at him as if he were a fool: "Didn't I tell you? You're a physical education teacher!" "What project do you teach?" Dongqiang continued to ask. "Sports, is there something wrong with your brain?" "Are you mentally ill? Which sport am I talking about? Track and field or horse racing? Swimming or martial arts? Ball games or chess? Shooting or juggling?" Qi Long looked at him: "Are you rapping?" "What do you teach?" "Hehe, let me tell you, there is nothing I can't teach, nothing I don't know how to teach, and nothing I can't teach to become a champion!" After he finished boasting, Dongqiang led the audience in booing. "I acknowledge the booing, but I really can't do anything about it!" The whole audience burst into laughter. Wow, he even brought back a joke? (End of this chapter)

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