Chapter 71: Chapter 71 Are You Trying to Force My Xingxing to Death Chapter 71: Chapter 71 Are You Trying to Force My Xingxing to Death Now speak of affection, what’s the use?
It’s already too late, and besides, she saw no remorse or guilt in Bai Da’s eyes. Facing Bai Da, Ye Xiu was conflicted.
Bai Da’s kindness towards her was unquestionable, but when it came to Xingxing, he was overly neglectful.
“Bai Da, why, can you tell me the truth? Why have you neglected Xingxing to such an extent?”
Her Xingxing, so small, so well-behaved, how could Bai Da neglect her like this?
“I…”
“Don’t say you haven’t, I know better than you, Bai Da. If you don’t tell the truth, I will despise you, I will hate you.”
Ye Xiu spoke directly, cutting off what Bai Da was about to say next; whether he had or hadn’t, she saw too clearly, and so did Xingxing.
“Don’t hate me, Xiuxiu you know, I can’t accept your hatred.”
Struggle flashed in Bai Da’s eyes, uncertain whether to face the issue or not, but he was ultimately defeated by Ye Xiu’s earnest gaze.
Compared to Xiuxiu’s dislike of him, everything else became unimportant.
Xiuxiu was his whole world; without her, his life would have no meaning. He couldn’t, absolutely couldn’t let Xiuxiu be disappointed in him.
“Alright, I admit, I have intentionally overlooked Bai Zhi, ignored her efforts, and even didn’t want you to spare any extra glance for her. But I’ve never hit her, never scolded her; I don’t dislike her either.”
Bai Da gripped Ye Xiu’s hand a bit tighter.
That taken-for-granted attitude, showing no sense of wrongdoing, chilled Ye Xiu’s heart even further.
She squeezed a few words through her teeth, each word trembling.
“Why, why?”
What had her Xingxing done wrong to be treated by Bai Da this way?
Of course, it was because…
Some words were on the brink of spilling out. A nameless light flashed in Bai Da’s eyes, and he immediately lowered his head, his hands released Ye Xiu, clenching tightly as if suppressing something.
His voice became very heavy, deep.
“Because of her, your health deteriorated. Have you forgotten? You had a difficult birth. Back then, you were so weak. How could I love her? The person I love the most is you, and it can only be you!”
When Bai Da looked up again, his gaze was deep and intense.
But it made Ye Xiu shiver; what a ridiculous reason.
“You don’t think I would be touched, do you?”
Ye Xiu let out a cold laugh, a laugh truly devoid of warmth.
“Your resentment is utterly meaningless. My difficult birth was due to my own poor health; what does that have to do with Xingxing? You clearly know how much I was looking forward to her birth, how much I love her.”
Tears fell from Ye Xiu’s eyes once more, even though she didn’t want to cry anymore.
She had told herself not to cry, but the pain was heartbreaking.
That pain spread throughout her body, wave after wave.
“If you had said earlier, I would never have left her at home, not even to my father. Bai Da, you’re too heartless, really.
If all this is because of me, I truly despise myself.”
If Xingxing was being neglected because of her, she would rather Bai Da didn’t love her.
“Don’t, you can’t hate yourself. I’m wrong, I thought wrong. She’s my daughter, not my enemy.”
Bai Da emphasized his tone when he said this, as if he was telling Ye Xiu, but also telling himself.
Only he knew whether he was sincere or just pretending.
“I didn’t hit her, didn’t yell at her, I’m not, not too bad as a father, am I? Xiuxiu, just forgive me this one time, okay?”
Bai Da believed he had never hit Bai Zhi, nor had he ever yelled at her, so compared to those who did hit their children, he didn’t consider himself a particularly bad father.
“I would rather you had yelled at her, do you know that? What difference is there between your neglect and hitting or yelling at her? No, there is a difference, it makes her suffer even more.”
Emotional neglect is a form of abuse; even feeling especially ignored, as if one is an extra person, is unbearably distressing. Ye Xiu only had to think about it to feel so depressed that she couldn’t catch her breath.
“Enough, enough, Bai Da. Just don’t bother Xingxing in the future, that’s all. I don’t need you to love her anymore, really don’t.”
If his so-called love meant having Xingxing come back to attend to them, then they might as well do without it.
“Xiuxiu…”
Bai Da was a bit afraid, panic-stricken as he looked at Ye Xiu.
“I used to think you neglected Xingxing because of Nan Xi, but now I realize, am I to blame too? Bai Da, I really hate myself.”
Truly, at this moment, Ye Xiu really hated herself; she was the main culprit behind Xingxing’s misfortune. So, what right did she have to face Xingxing?
“No, it’s not like that; I didn’t mean that, Xiuxiu, don’t blame yourself; it’s just, I was wrong, can’t admitting I was wrong be enough?”
Bai Da couldn’t bear to see Ye Xiu so pained.
“I will change; I really will.”
“You don’t need to change, really, my Xingxing doesn’t need you to change either. Since you resent her, then stay away from her.”
Please just don’t get closer to her Xingxing anymore; everyone is miserable where they are. Shouldn’t that be the end of it?
“Xiuxiu, are you blaming me?”
“Yes, of course I blame you. My poor health has nothing to do with Xingxing. Didn’t I still have a difficult birth with Bai Yu and Bai Ye? They were twins too.”
As Ye Xiu finished this sentence, her heart jolted fiercely. Indeed.
Her birth of Bai Yu and the others was difficult too, yet she never saw him resent Bai Yu or Bai Ye.
When Ye Xiu looked towards the doorway, she noticed several children eavesdropping and suddenly laughed, finding it too ironic.
Even now, Bai Da was still deceiving her.
Even if she was partly to blame, it certainly wasn’t the whole story because it just didn’t stand up to reason.
Seeing they were discovered, the three children walked in. Their gaze towards Ye Xiu was somewhat timid.
Especially the group pet; her frightened and cautious eyes made them impossible to ignore.
The group pet didn’t understand why their family used to be so happy, and now everything had changed so soon.
Her mother’s gaze used to be gentle and warm, but now it was cold and distant, and there was even a fleeting trace of resentment.
She didn’t want this.
“Mom, if sis really minds my existence so much, then have dad take me away,” the group pet said, eyes closed as if she had made some kind of resolution.
If her departure could make her mother happy, even though she would miss her terribly, she was willing.
Hearing the group pet’s words, Bai Yu and Bai Ye tensed, fearing Ye Xiu would agree. They wanted desperately to say it couldn’t happen, absolutely not.
“Nan Xi, are you trying to kill my Xingxing? Do you wish bad upon her?”