“Well, he was happy for a while,” Jimmy said softly, his gaze distant as he reflected on those days. “At least he had one reason to smile, something to distract him from his family problems. That was great to see, honestly.”
He sighed, shaking his head lightly. “Then, when he was around fifteen or sixteen, he started saying it was time. Time to propose to you.”
Jimmy leaned back in his chair, rubbing the back of his neck with a faint, tired smile. “I told him to just do it already, you know? But he’d always hesitate, coming up with excuses. He was terrified, Avey. Afraid of what he’d do if you rejected him.”
Jimmy’s voice grew a little sharper, frustration bleeding into his words. “It wasn’t about what other people would think he didn’t care about that. He wasn’t worried about being embarrassed in front of anyone else. It was you. He thought maybe you wouldn’t be ready, or that he’d catch you off guard. He’d make up a thousand reasons in his head, overthinking every little thing.”
He let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping slightly. “This went on for a year or two, back and forth, him planning it all out but never going through with it. He’d come to me with these grand ideas, asking for advice, saying things like, ‘Do you think she’ll like this?’ or, ‘What if she doesn’t feel the same?’ It drove me crazy, honestly. I kept telling him to just tell you already. To stop wasting time.”
Jimmy’s voice softened slightly, his gaze dropping. “Then, one day, he finally said it. He told me he was going to propose to you at your school’s farewell.”
He paused, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “I wished him good luck, of course. I thought for sure you’d say yes. I mean, who wouldn’t? Lucian was… well, he was Lucian. He adored you, Avey. He couldn’t say a single bad thing about you. All I ever heard was how amazing you were how kind, how smart, how perfect you were in his eyes. Even though I’d never met you, I felt like I knew you through him.”
Jimmy chuckled softly, though there was a bittersweet edge to his tone. “Honestly, the way he talked about you, I was convinced you must have felt the same way about him. The way he described your kindness, your smiles it seemed like you two were close. Like you must’ve liked him too.”
He leaned forward slightly, his expression darkening. “I was even preparing to celebrate with him. Planning a party. I was waiting for him to show up the next day with good news, a big grin on his face, telling me how it went.”
Jimmy’s voice dropped, and he exhaled heavily. “But… he didn’t show up that day. Or the day after. I tried calling him, but he didn’t pick up. Days passed. Three. Four. A week.”
Avey’s heart clenched as Jimmy’s voice grew heavier. She could see the pain in his expression, the weight of what he was remembering.
“When I finally saw him a week later, he looked… hollow,” Jimmy said quietly, his voice cold . “He told me he’d failed. That you’d rejected him.”
He stopped for a moment, his fists clenching on the table as he took a deep breath to steady himself.
“Lucian said it was okay,” Jimmy continued, though his voice betrayed the pain he felt. “He said he’d understand. That you had your reasons, and he wouldn’t hold it against you. But you know what hurt him the most?”
Jimmy’s gaze snapped up to meet Avey’s, and his voice sharpened with anger. “It wasn’t the rejection itself. It was the way you did it. Cold. Distant. Like he didn’t matter to you at all.”
Avey flinched at his words, her hands trembling slightly in her lap.
“You didn’t even look for him afterward,” Jimmy said, his voice rising. “Not a single message. Not a single word to explain why you turned him down. Nothing. He waited, Avey. He waited for you to come to him, to at least give him a reason. And when you didn’t… that broke him.”
Jimmy’s jaw tightened, his anger barely restrained. “He cried for a week. A full week after that day. Alone. No one to comfort him, no one to lean on. Do you know what that does to a person? To someone who loved you that much?”
Jimmy leaned closer, his voice low but intense. “Why didn’t you message him, Avey? Why didn’t you even said anything? Wasn’t your relationship good? Weren’t you kind to him, always smiling, always treating him like he mattered? Then why”
Jimmy stopped himself, his voice faltering as he leaned back with a sigh. “I don’t understand it. And I don’t think he ever did, either.”
“I’m not even saying you should have accepted,” Jimmy began, his voice low but heavy with emotion. “It was your choice rejecting or accepting. That’s something no one can force. But I just want to know… why so cold? Why didn’t you have a little patience, Avey? Why did you have to be that cruel to him?”
His gaze bore into her, his frustration evident. “You were his best friend,” Jimmy continued. “Even if you didn’t feel the same way, you could have been kinder about it. You could have told him something anything. He was like a child, Avey. If you had just said, ‘I’m not ready,’ or ‘It’s not the right time,’ I know I know he would’ve accepted it. He would’ve smiled through the pain and respected your feelings. That’s just who he was.”
Jimmy’s voice cracked slightly, but he pressed on, his tone sharpening. “But no. You didn’t even think to say a word to him afterward. Not one message. Not one explanation. Nothing. Why? Why did you do that to him?”
Avey sat in silence, her gaze fixed on Jimmy as his heavy questions hung in the air. Her lips parted slightly as if to answer, but no words came. The weight of his accusations was suffocating, and the truth was… she didn’t have an answer.
Her mind drifted back to that day, replaying the memory she had tried so hard to bury. She remembered Lucian standing there, nervous but hopeful, pouring his heart out as he proposed to her in front of everyone. She remembered the look on his face, the vulnerability in his eyes. And she remembered her own reaction cold. Detached. Like a stranger rejecting a stranger.
At the time, it hadn’t felt wrong. She had felt… nothing. No guilt, no hesitation, no second thoughts. When Lucian walked away after waiting for her to say something more, she didn’t even stop him. She didn’t chase after him, didn’t message him later, didn’t offer a reason or an apology. She hadn’t even thought to. It was as if all the years they had spent together, all the moments they had shared, meant nothing in that instant.
Her body had been there, but it was like her emotions were shut off. She couldn’t explain it not then, not now.
Avey’s fingers trembled slightly as she sat there, lost in thought. She didn’t know why she had acted that way. It wasn’t as if Lucian didn’t matter to her he did. Or at least, she thought he did. But in that moment, it was like he didn’t. Like he was just… irrelevant.
Her heart sank as she realized how deeply she must have hurt him. She could still see his face, the way it had fallen when she rejected him, the emptiness in his eyes as he walked away. And now, sitting here, she couldn’t justify any of it.
Why did I act like that? she thought, her mind spinning as she tried to piece it together. Why didn’t I feel anything?
Finally, she looked up at Jimmy, her eyes hollow, her voice barely above a whisper. “I… I don’t know.”
Jimmy raised an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair as if her words had confirmed something he already knew.
“You don’t know?” he repeated, his tone quiet but cutting. “That’s it? That’s all you’ve got to say? ‘I don’t know’?”
Avey nodded faintly, her hands clenched tightly in her lap. “I really don’t,” she said, her voice trembling. “I don’t know what happened to me that day. I… I don’t even recognize myself in that moment.”
She fell silent, her gaze dropping to the table as her mind raced. The realization was sinking in now, and it was crushing her. If she had been in Lucian’s position, she knew she would have hated herself. She wouldn’t have looked for answers or reconciliation. She wouldn’t have forgiven someone who treated her like that.
If I were him, I’d hate me too, she thought bitterly, her chest tightening.
Jimmy watched her, his expression hardening as he leaned forward. “And you say you love him,” he said, his voice laced with disdain. “See, if you’d had even the slightest feelings for him back then, you wouldn’t have done what you did. You wouldn’t have acted so cold, so heartless. Even animals, Avey, start forming bonds after spending enough time with someone. But you…”
He paused, shaking his head in disbelief. “You were a human being. You had years with him. And yet, when it mattered most, you acted worse than an animal. No feelings. No empathy. Nothing.”
Avey’s body trembled at his words, her eyes wide and blank. Cassandra, sitting beside her, looked at her with a mixture of pity and unease, her brow furrowed as if unsure what to say.
Jimmy sighed, leaning back and rubbing his temples. “Whatever,” he muttered, his voice heavy with frustration. “You’ve got no answers. I expected as much. But don’t sit here and tell me you love him now. Because if you did, you wouldn’t have treated him like he was nothing back then.”
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hey guys these chapters are very very important…am not just putting outa anything… honestly these type of chapters are more harder for me to write sighh