“What are you doing right now?” Celestia’s voice came softly through the phone, a gentle attempt to start a conversation.
Lucian shifted slightly on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Nothing much. Just lying down,” he mumbled, his voice carrying the fatigue of the day. He exhaled heavily. “Man, today was exhausting…”
“Hmm.” Celestia paused for a beat, and then her voice lightened with a playful edge. “You know… now that I think about it, today is quite special, isn’t it?”
Lucian blinked. “Special?”
“Yes,” she said, her voice warm. “It’s the first day we met. And… our first phone call, too. Don’t you think that makes it memorable?”
Lucian lifted his head slightly, brows furrowing in mild surprise. Her tone was so different now soft, sweet, almost shy. This is the same woman who sounded so menacing this morning? he thought, bewildered.
“Yeah… I guess it is,” Lucian replied, though his words felt clumsy and awkward. He wasn’t good at conversations like this. With a quiet sigh, he rested his head back down.
Celestia, perhaps sensing his hesitation, spoke again, her voice quieter now, almost a whisper. “What do you think of me, Lucian?”
Lucian froze slightly, caught off guard. “Huh?”
“Do you like me?” she asked, her tone unusually tender. “I mean… maybe I was too forceful today. Maybe I’m not the gentle type you prefer… like Avey.”
Lucian’s eyes opened a little, and he lifted his head off the bed again. What’s with her? he thought, blinking at his phone. This wasn’t the domineering, confident Celestia from earlier. Her voice now carried something delicate, almost uncertain.
After a moment’s silence, he sighed and finally answered. “You’re… great. Don’t think too much about it.”
“Great?” she echoed softly, as though the word wasn’t quite enough for her.
Lucian adjusted his position slightly, propping himself up on one elbow as he stared at the phone screen. “Yeah,” he continued, his voice more earnest this time. “You’re strong. You’re a straightforward person. You’re beautiful, independent, skilled, intelligent… and confident. You don’t need to rely on anyone because you believe in yourself.”
Celestia remained silent on the other end, listening.
Lucian’s voice softened, almost as if he were talking to himself. “You’re… perfect, really. Someone like you” He paused, swallowing hard as his expression darkened slightly. “you’re better than me.”
His voice dropped into a whisper, almost broken. “There are so many flaws in me.”
Celestia opened her mouth to respond, but Lucian spoke again, quieter this time. “I’m not supposed to have what I want.”
For a moment, the line was silent. Celestia didn’t say anything, and Lucian could only hear the faint static on the other end.
Then, she exhaled softly, her voice tinged with frustration and something gentler concern. “Why are you always like this?” she asked, her tone low but steady. “Why do you see yourself this way?”
Lucian didn’t answer. He just lay back down, letting his head sink into the mattress, the phone still pressed to his ear.
“You’re a good person, you know that?” he said suddenly, his voice quiet and sincere.
Celestia paused, caught off guard by his words. “What?”
Lucian swallowed hard, his throat dry. “I mean it. You’re a good person,” he repeated.
There was a long pause before he spoke again, his words almost hesitant, as though afraid to admit them. “Hey… I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Celestia asked softly, a faint confusion in her voice.
“For rejecting you earlier.” His voice was low, regretful. “I didn’t… mean to hurt you. I don’t really know what to say. I just…” He sighed deeply, his shoulders sagging. “I don’t think I deserve to be loved. I don’t think I’m someone who gets that. And even if I wanted it, I feel like the world wouldn’t let me have it.”
Celestia stayed silent, her breath audible on the other end.
“You deserve someone better,” Lucian continued quietly, staring up at the ceiling. “Someone good, someone who can make you happy. I’m not that guy. I’m… negative. Weak. Aimless. Empty.”
“darling” Celestia began, but he wasn’t finished.
“I’ve tried…” He paused, his voice trembling slightly. “I’ve tried it so many times. And look at me I’m not cheerful, or funny, or interesting. I’m just… boring. I don’t know why anyone would want to stick around me.”
The silence that followed felt heavy, like a weight pressing into both of them. Lucian closed his eyes, waiting for her response any response.
After a long pause, Celestia finally spoke, her voice calm but firm. “Lucian.”
He didn’t respond.
“Do you really think you know yourself so well?” she asked softly.
Lucian frowned slightly, his grip on the phone tightening. “Well?”
“Maybe… you’re ignoring your good sides,” Celestia said, her tone steady and sincere. “Maybe you’re surrounded by the wrong people and the wrong environment, and that’s all you see.”
Lucian blinked, surprised by her words.
“You think you’re weak,” she continued, “but you’re not. You’re kind. You’re respectful and loyal. You’re someone who knows how to love and someone who doesn’t cheat people. You’re generous, even when the world hasn’t been kind to you.”
She paused for a moment, the line quiet except for the faint sound of her breathing. When she spoke again, her voice was softer, almost tender.
“Maybe… you’re blaming yourself for being hurt by others. For being rejected. But,” she hesitated, her tone laced with a gentle firmness, “were you really the one at fault?”
Lucian blinked, staring at his phone as though it might somehow give him the answers he didn’t have. Her words were like a quiet balm against the ache he carried deep inside. He didn’t know what to say.
“Just look at the past,” Celestia continued, her voice steady. “As far as I’ve come to know you, I can’t imagine anyone else sticking to love like you have despite everything.”
Lucian’s chest tightened slightly, his grip on the phone loosening as her words settled over him.
“Even after everything Avey did…” Her voice faltered briefly, as if the memory of what she’d learned about his past left a bitter taste in her mouth. “At least you didn’t lose yourself in it. You stayed the person you are.”
She took a deep breath, steadying herself. “And your family…” Celestia’s voice turned slightly gritted, though she seemed to reign herself in. “Even after how they treated you, you still stuck by them. You still see your relationships as something important, something worth fighting for. Honestly, if it had been anyone else, it would’ve ended a long time ago.”
Lucian swallowed hard, the weight of her words pressing against his chest.
“And you…” she continued, a faint sigh escaping her lips. “You’re so skilled. So talented. There are so many things you’re good at, but i don’t know why…” Her voice softened, tinged with exasperation. “You never let anyone see them. That’s the part of you I don’t like. I wish you’d stop hiding, stop being so… childish about it. Let people see who you really are.”
Lucian chuckled softly, a faint, almost bitter sound. “Maybe I don’t think it matters,” he murmured.
“You’re wrong,” Celestia said immediately, her voice firm. “You think you’re weak, but you’re not. You know how to love someone deeply, without expecting anything in return. You don’t cheat or manipulate people not like some people. You’re generous even when the world hasn’t given you a single reason to be.”
Her words struck something deep inside him, a part of himself he thought he had buried long ago.
“Maybe…” she hesitated, her voice quieter now. “Maybe you’re focusing too much on the pain. The hurt people have caused you. But… were you really the one at fault? Did you deserve what they did to you?”
Lucian’s gaze drifted to the ceiling, the soft glow of the light above him blurring as her words echoed in his mind. He didn’t answer, couldn’t answer, because he didn’t know.
“Don’t let the pain they caused you become the only thing you see in yourself,” Celestia said gently. Her voice was so soft, so earnest, that it made Lucian’s chest tighten even more. “Because I promise… there’s so much more to you than that.”
The silence that followed wasn’t heavy. It wasn’t awkward. It was warm and full, like a quiet understanding shared between two people who had reached into the deepest parts of each other.
Lucian exhaled softly, breaking the silence with a quiet, “Thanks… for saying that.”
Celestia smiled faintly on the other end, though he couldn’t see it. “You don’t have to thank me,” she said simply, her tone light and teasing now. “Just… try to see yourself the way I do, alright?”
Lucian didn’t respond right away, but a faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips. It was small, barely there, but it carried a warmth he hadn’t felt in a long time.
After a long pause, he spoke again, his voice low and quiet. “Hey… I’m tired. Let’s talk later, okay?”
On the other end, Celestia let out a dramatic sigh, her frustration clear. “Ughhh, fine. Goodnight, Mr. So-Busy-He-Can’t-Talk-To-Me.” Her voice carried a faint pout, though there was no real anger behind it. “Take care.”
Lucian chuckled softly, the sound genuine this time, before cutting the call. The phone dropped from his hand and onto the bed beside him. He sighed heavily, closing his eyes.
“Ahh, man… why am I like this?” he murmured to himself, his voice barely above a whisper.
He lay there in silence for a moment, staring up at the ceiling as thoughts swirled in his mind. “If I let someone in…” he whispered, his voice so quiet it was almost swallowed by the stillness of the room. “They’ll hurt me. They always do.”
His fingers curled loosely around the edge of the blanket, his chest tightening with the weight of the thought. “It’s better this way,” he muttered. “No expectations. No hope. At least if I’m alone, I won’t get hurt.”
He turned his head to the side, his gaze falling on the phone beside him. His expression was unreadable, a mix of resignation and something softer.
Suddenly,
“Oh, yeah. The letter Mother gave me,” he murmured, sitting up slowly. His hand reached for the pocket of his shirt, his fingers brushing against the paper he had nearly forgotten.
As he pulled it out
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