Lucian took a slow, measured breath, feeling the familiar ache of frustration and wariness building within him. He didn’t want to get drawn into complicated emotions with Rose. This unexpected visit of hers felt too sudden, too strange, as if it were pulling him back into a tangled mess of feelings he’d spent so long trying to untangle. He didn’t want to be pulled back in didn’t want to reopen wounds he had barely managed to close.
He looked at her with a gentleness that almost concealed the guarded pain he held inside. “Rose,” he said, his voice soft yet steady, “why are you really here? What is it that you want?” There was no accusation in his tone, no anger just an exhaustion edged with kindness. It was as if he was too tired to be anything other than direct, but not too hardened to hold onto bitterness.
He felt his resolve weaken as he looked at her, and memories from his past life flickered through his mind. He remembered how hard she had worked, how she had sometimes looked at him with that same guarded expression she had now, as if she couldn’t quite trust him. She had seemed so afraid that he might one day try to take her place in the family business, the shadow of competition always looming between them. He had only ever wanted her acceptance, but she had been so closed off, so fiercely determined to keep her guard up against him.
Rose began to speak, but he stopped her, gently raising a hand. “Please, just be honest,” he said softly. “You don’t need to pretend. If there’s something you need to tell me, just say it. You don’t have to act… friendly with me if it doesn’t feel real for you.” He met her gaze, his expression gentle but resigned, as if he were saying these words as much to himself as he was to her.
Rose’s mouth opened to respond, but the words fell away, and she simply looked at him, her eyes uncertain. She could feel his kindness wrapping around her, and it made her heart ache even more, because it reminded her of everything she had lost in her last life the closeness they might have had, the bond she had so carelessly dismissed.
“L-Lucian…” she began, the nickname slipping from her before she could stop herself, an echo from their childhood. She tried to recover, to hold onto some semblance of composure. “I know I haven’t always been there for you. But we’re family. We’re siblings, aren’t we?”
Lucian’s eyes softened, his gaze gentle as he looked at her, and a faint, sad smile played on his lips. He wanted to believe her, wanted to let that word, “family,” mean something between them. But he knew from experience how painful it could be to hold onto expectations that only led to heartbreak. “I know we’re family, Rose,” he said quietly. “But that doesn’t mean… we’re close.”
Rose’s hand trembled as she took in his words, her heart tightening painfully in her chest. She could see the caution in his eyes, the gentle wariness of someone who had been hurt before, someone who wanted to believe in her but was afraid of the cost.
“I’m… I’m not here to hurt you, Lucian,” she whispered, feeling as though she were confessing a deep regret she couldn’t quite articulate. “I’m not the same person I was back then.”
Lucian gave her a small, understanding nod, his kindness unwavering despite the guarded distance he kept between them. “I’m not here to hold things against you, Rose. Really, I’m not.” His voice was steady and gentle, as though he were trying to reassure her even as he held himself back. “But I think… it’s best if we don’t pretend to be something we’re not. I don’t want either of us to get hurt.”
Rose’s breath caught, and she felt a pang of regret so strong it nearly overwhelmed her. She remembered all the times he had reached out to her, the times he had wanted to be close, and she had turned him away. And now, here he was, offering her kindness without expecting anything in return, even after everything she had done.
Lucian’s voice softened even further, and he reached out, almost as if he were about to take her hand but stopped himself. “I just want us both to be okay, Rose,” he said quietly. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
Rose’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears, her heart torn between wanting to reach out and hold onto him and feeling like she didn’t deserve even this gentle, cautious connection he was offering. She had pushed him away in her past life, had spent so long thinking of him as someone she had to compete with, someone who stood in her way. And now, faced with the kindness in his eyes, she realized just how much she had lost because of it.
“Lucian, I…” she hesitated, her voice trembling. “I’m so sorry. For everything. I don’t deserve your kindness.”
Lucian gave her a soft, forgiving smile, his gaze warm but still distant. “I’m not holding anything against you, Rose,” he said gently. “We don’t have to dwell on the past. Let’s just… focus on being okay now.”
As he spoke, Rose felt a bittersweet ache in her heart. She could see the kindness in his eyes, the gentle compassion he extended to her even after all the pain she had caused him. And for the first time, she felt the full weight of the love she had taken for granted. She nodded slowly, her heart swelling with gratitude and regret, knowing she would spend the rest of her life trying to be worthy of the quiet forgiveness he offered her in that moment.
—–
Hey everyone! I wanted to let you know that I’ll be keeping my chapters a bit shorter from now on. A few fellow authors have pointed out that readers look at the price…
webnovel tend to judge the price of a chapter based on its length, so I’ll be adjusting accordingly.
Usually, one of my chapters can be split into two, so from now on, I’ll be doing that. Don’t worry, I’ll still increase the frequency of updates, but I won’t be cutting anything out!