Chapter 1: A Reality Show?
The moment Tang Doudou opened her eyes, she was swarmed by a pack of women with heavy makeup and various kinds of low-cut clothing. A casual look painted it as a scene of magnificent curves and a jungle of flesh and wine.
Gulp. Da heck was happening?
Shouldnât she be fast asleep in the hotel right now? The moment she cracked an eye open, she saw this place which seemed like a transvestite party site.
Could it be that she was dreaming?
This act in front of her was also way too unimaginably outrageous. Even if it was a dream, she was a woman that was straighter than a desertâs solitary smoke*, why would she dream of such an unrestrained scene?
ć€§æŒ ć€ç â Desertâs solitary smoke is a phrase from a poem, the entire phrase has one additional word: çŽ, which means straight. The smoke is from a fire beacon, and smoke isnât straight, but our MCâs just playing on words, no hidden meanings, I think.
Look at how these women are dressed, they all look like ancient era brothel women. It couldnât be that in her subconscious mind, she actually liked women? And such heavy taste to boot!
Tang Doudou lifted her hand and covered her eyes. Heavens ah, she was actually this kind of person!
But thatâs not right either! With suspicion in her eyes, Tang Doudou rubbed the lethal weapon that came over. It was very meticulous, supple, and elastic; she became even more puzzled. Such a realistic sensationâŠâŠ
Oh my god, this couldnât be real, right?! Tang Doudou was alarmed by her thought.
She quickly pulled over a random woman. âHey, this Big Sis, where is this place? Are you guys acting out roles?â
âOwwie, gongzi, youâre hurting this servantâŠâ A coquettish blaming tone. Hearing it made Tang Doudou drop a floor full of goosebumps with a whoosh.
ć Źć â âgongziâ is a way to address a guy, usually someone of pretty good background; like the son of an official or the son of nobility. Itâs pretty much Mister except not quite.
âGongzi?â Tang Doudou exposed a look of surprise. Seeing that woman stroking her hair coquettishly while facing her, she violently shuddered, feeling a chill. Mommy, this place is really scary, I want to go home!
âGongzi, youâve called so many sisters here, which sister are you planning to have stay behind?â The woman leaned towards Tang Doudou. How could Tang Doudou possibly have the nerve to allow the woman to lean on her? She hastily dodged.
The woman saw her dodge as if she was avoiding a snake and immediately turned back around sharply. Her red lips gently parted as she smiled sweetly. âAiyah, gongzi, what are you dodging for!?â
Big Sis ah! Itâs not that I want to hide. This woman is seriously making a passionate effort to fawn upon another woman, sister seriously canât hold up ah!
Tang Doudou shuddered and she shifted around in her seat.
She still hadnât figured out the current situation, so how could she have the presence of mind to deal with these big sisters? Her clear bright eyes looked around at the strange surroundings. The more she looked, the more alarmed she became. She was finally sure about one thing, this isnât the hotelâs design!
This couldnât be a recording site for a live reality tv show, right?
But she never received a notification ah! Meow meow miii*! To do this, they probably want to see her shameful performance, donât they?
In Chinese, âmiaoâ = meow and is the sound a cat makes. âmiâ is a sound for calling a cat. âMiao miao miiâ and other variations like âmiao a(one) miâ have no actual meaning. They just sound cute and are often used by modern people to express anything from outrage to shock to amazement.
As she thought of those surveillance cameras that were in every possible nook and cranny, and those manipulators that set up pranks with mischievous attitudes just for the sake of satisfying the curiosity of the masses, Tang Doudou couldnât help getting a bit angry!
Hmph! You want to play? Then Big Sis will properly play a round with you!
âGongzi~ Could it be that you dislike this servant? Are you thinking that this servant isnât as pretty as those other girls? Why are you being so cold to this servantâŠ.â
That prostitute pouted playfully as she spoke. Her tender and soft body seemed to be itching to stick onto Tang Doudouâs body and her voice was supple to the point where water could drip out.
Then, that woman actually grabbed Tang Doudouâs small claw and did a very bold and off-the-scale action!
Tang Doudou instantly returned to her senses. Her dull eyes followed her arm and looked over, meeting head-on with a pair of charming silk-like eyes. She then looked at her own hand which was currently gripped and placed onto that womanâs chest, and the way it was still being intentionally dragged back and forth by the woman.
Hell! Tang Doudou was immediately thundered to the point where she was scorched on the outside and tender on the inside. Haha, people from the city sure know how to play!
There was really no need to mention these womenâs acting skills, they could practically throw the leading roles of some television dramas hundreds of streets away! Their acting seemed pretty much no different from natural personality!
Look at the setup, it was seriously a big production scene ah!
Tang Doudouâs eyes lit up. It looks as if they really got serious this time! Just for the sake of making her look dumb, theyâve practically even spurted blood*!
âspurted bloodâ means to put in a lot of effort, and might also connote to spending a lot of money.
This was such a golden opportunity, wouldnât it be wasting their good intentions if she didnât give a proper performance?
__________
Credits: Translated by Chiyomira, Edited by Prady
[Chiyomiraâs Corner]
Lethal Weapon Discussion Amongst the Editors
S: This sentence doesnât make sense. What is the âlethal weaponâ?
M: Ehh, I assume itâs the maleâs, uhh, reproductive organ.
C: But she doesnât reach for her crotch until later lol
M: Oh thatâs right⊠In that case she touched the girlâs breast, calling it a weapon to make sure sheâs not dreaming? But yeah, it makes sense I suppose. Still weird she went there to validate sheâs awake xD
As you can see, this is a super funny and silly novel. Thereâs a lot of slang and funny sayings which makes this novel a challenge to translate even though the situation is pretty straightforward. Iâve chosen to keep a lot of the sounds that really have no meaning but to give a more informal and outrageous tone to the words like âahâ and âyaâ as well as keep some of the sayings in their literal forms rather than the connotations. Because âspurted bloodâ really gives off a different feel than âreally put in effortâ, no?
Also, this novel often directly shifts from describing the situation in third-person-ish pov directly into her first-person pov reaction, so if something confuses you, I highly encourage you to take another look and puzzle it out! I really found this fun to read so I hope my translations will be just as fun for you and that youâll grow to love this novel! Enjoy~
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