Lin Fan lay on the ground and glanced at him lazily: "If you don't mind me talking like this, then let's chat."
No matter how busy he is, Jin Sichen will have a conversation with her every week.
Even though she was completely exhausted and lying in bed, she still couldn't escape. Fortunately, his conversation was very skillful and didn't make Lin Fan feel irritated.
Lin Fan had indeed been feeling much better recently, and she attributed it all to Jin Sichen. Therefore, she wasn't opposed to chatting with Jin Sichen.
Jin Sichen glanced at Song Ren, and Song Ren understood.
"Wait two more minutes." He quickly finished pressing Lin Fan and took Li Chunhua out.
Seeing the door closed, Jin Sichen lowered himself to sit cross-legged on the floor, put the recorder aside, and asked with his chin propped up, "Do you remember the time you jumped into the river last year?"
"Remember..." Lin Fan didn't have any obvious expression. She tilted her head and looked in the direction of Jin Sichen, but her eyes were actually blank.
"I have a few questions related to that matter that I want to confirm with you. If you feel uncomfortable, tell me immediately and I will stop." Seeing that Lin Fan did not seem to have any special emotional fluctuations, Jin Sichen continued.
"Well, ask." There are very few things that can cause Lin Fan to have such strong emotions now.
Of course, Lin Ma is an exception.
"Didn't Doctor Xiao mention something on top of your head yesterday?" Jin Sichen explained. "We don't know what it is, but we suspect you may have sustained an injury and didn't notice it."
"I contacted John Woo last night. He said that if you have a head injury and you don't know it, it's very likely from the time you jumped into the river. I think it's very likely, so I'd like to accompany you to review this unpleasant experience. Is that okay with you?"
"Okay." Lin Fan agreed readily.
"Can you tell me what happened that day? Why did you suddenly jump into the river?" Jin Sichen asked.
Lin Fan probably felt uncomfortable with his neck lying down, so he rolled himself over and lay on his back. He looked at the high ceiling and recalled, "That was a long time after I was discharged from the hospital. My mother came to see me."
"She probably thought I was back to normal, and excitedly wanted to take me out for a walk. She thought if I went out more, I'd open up and forget about the bad things. I didn't want to go out, but..."
Lin's mother half-forced Lin Fan to take a stroll in the park near their home. The air in the park was fresh, there were large areas of flowers and trees, not many people, and it was very quiet. Lin Fan didn't feel particularly good, but he didn't feel particularly bad either.
"My mother keeps talking. At first it was fine, she would talk about flowers, municipal construction, news and gossip... Later on, she started to complain, complaining about my father, complaining about life, complaining about me for always staying at home and not going to work even though I'm obviously well now, which makes the neighbors laugh at me. When acquaintances ask her about it, she doesn't know how to answer... She told me to find a class as soon as possible, find an office job where I won't be tired..." Lin Fan's mouth curled up slightly, revealing a strange smile.
She was standing on the bridge, watching the gradually setting sun, which dyed the clouds red. The whole sky looked like it was on fire, so beautiful that it made people yearn for it.
"I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. I was in pain every day, I didn't want to live like this, and I couldn't control my body..."
"I've tried a lot, but with little success. I have to muster up a lot of courage and mental preparation before I can even leave the house, but in my mother's eyes..."
"Who knows the hardship it's like? No one can relate. I feel like a piece of crap. Living is just a waste of air. Why bother struggling to survive? It's useless anyway."
"Besides, the sky that day was so beautiful. I really wanted to merge with it... I was so tired. I didn't want to listen to all that nagging anymore... so I just flipped over."
Jin Sichen listened quietly without interrupting.
The pain of depression patients comes not only from the disease itself, but also from the fact that no one understands them.
Most people think it's just whining and looking for trouble. Even if they occasionally feel sympathy, it's hard to empathize with them.
Because of the unique nature of the disease, most people appear to be able to lead normal lives, even appearing to be no different from ordinary people. Unless the disease becomes severe enough to manifest itself, it is easy to be ignored.
Unlike physical illnesses like a cut where you see bleeding or an eye infection where you see redness and swelling, depression is a disease of the heart; even if you were to dig your heart out, you wouldn't find anything wrong.
For people with depression, a silent hug and firm support can give them great strength.
But trivial complaints and misunderstandings will push them into deeper pain.
So the doctor was right to ask Lin Fan and his mother to live separately.
Lin's mother was actually the root cause of Lin Fan's illness, but she was still unaware of it. She always thought that Lin Fan was just mentally fragile and couldn't stand being talked to.
"Did you regret jumping down?" Jin Sichen continued to ask when he saw that Lin Fan's expression was still indifferent.
"No, I feel very happy." A faint, peaceful smile appeared on Lin Fan's face, and her eyes were a little sore. "I think this day... is finally coming to an end."
People often say, if you are not afraid of death, why should you be afraid of living?
It is true that extreme behavior is a form of escape, but for people who are sick, it may also be a relief.
It is common for people to call for euthanasia to reduce the suffering of patients in the late stages of cancer when it is difficult to cure.
But few people remember that depression is known as psychological cancer.
It's also cancer, but patients with depression choose extreme measures to relieve it, but they are always criticized.
Not being understood when alive, and being criticized for choosing liberation.
It seems that whether or not to get sick is a choice made by the person.
When you can't escape the pain of a blunt knife cutting your flesh, sticking your head out seems to be the only way to get rid of it.
It's not a good idea, but it works.
"Do you still remember what happened after you jumped?" Jin Sichen asked.
"I heard my mother's voice, that high-pitched and familiar cry, and it actually made me feel a surge of joy." Lin Fan pursed his lips and smiled bitterly. "There seemed to be other sounds, but I couldn't hear them clearly, and then I fell into the water."
"Jumping into the river was more painful than I imagined. I didn't realize the water could be that hard. The first thing I saw was the yellow water, a little transparent. My eyes stung and hurt, and I could barely open them. Then, water rushed into my nose and ears. My nose felt like it was on fire, sore and astringent."
"I couldn't breathe. I opened my mouth and exhaled a bunch of bubbles. Water rushed into my throat... The river water turned darker. My lungs felt like they were being emptied out, shrinking into a ball. The pain was terrible. My head was dizzy and I felt like I was floating... The water was getting darker and darker, and soon I couldn't see anything..."
Drowning is extremely painful, but Lin Fan's description was very calm, without even a trace of emotion, as if he was telling someone else's story.
To get to where she is today, she has overcome difficulties that ordinary people can hardly imagine.
Jin Sichen was delighted that Lin Fan was stable, and then asked, "Can't you swim?"
"Won't."
"Do you remember how you were rescued?" This was the point we discussed yesterday.
"I don't know. After I woke up, I was lying on the shore. I must have been rescued. I felt weak and my body was heavy, but I could still move. I was wet all over and a little cold. My mood was back to normal, so I slowly walked home by myself." Lin Fan sat on the shore for a while before getting up, as if he had done a strenuous exercise.
"Did you encounter anything strange when you were in the water? Think carefully, did you feel injured or in pain?" This is what Jin Sichen was most concerned about.
Lin Fan thought for a long time and said uncertainly, "It seemed like... there was a pain on the top of my head. I bumped into something. It hurt quite a bit. Um... and then I saw some black lines floating upwards. But I'm not sure. I wasn't fully conscious at the time, so I'm not sure if I really hit anything."
Jin Sichen guessed that the black line might be the blood that flowed out after hitting the scalp. Lin Fan was sinking, so the blood he saw was floating upwards.
He said a few more words to end the conversation. After confirming that Lin Fan was fine, he left the activity room and immediately sent a message to John Woo.
Although Lin Fan said he was not sure, based on Jin Sichen's understanding of her, she did not have any confused memories, so the possibility of her being injured in the water was very high.
"She said that the thing she hit should be the main body of the thing stuck in her head, which is the key to her transformation. Since it was enough to cause her head to bleed, it shouldn't be too small. At least it can't be just as small as an embroidery needle in her head. There must be other parts." Jin Sichen was absolutely sure.
The river is so vast, there are plenty of things that could hit someone's head. But this thing should be at a relatively shallow depth. Because the kinetic energy of falling will be offset by buoyancy, if it is too deep, there will be no force to hit the head.
Moreover, more than a year has passed, and it is hard to say whether the things are still there.
Despite the difficulty, John Woo was determined to go. That's what special forces do; facing challenges head-on is their daily routine.
"Got it. I'll make arrangements right away." Wu Yusen had an idea in mind. "How's Lin Fan doing lately? I heard he transformed again. Did you see it?"
"I didn't see it with my own eyes, but I watched the video. The people from 623 also made a 1:1 3D portrait." Jin Sichen replied.
"Hiss... Can I take a look?" John Woo knew that he was bound by the confidentiality agreement, so the answer was not optimistic.
"You should go back and ask the director. Their information is shared with the director, and I don't have the right to send it directly." Jin Sichen shook his head. The agreement was not a fake signature.
"Okay. Then I'll go back and ask the director. Is Lin Fan okay now? I heard he's recovered well." John Woo still cared about Lin Fan very much, but he couldn't accompany him because of work.
"Not bad. I thought the pain from her last transformation would cause her mental state to regress, but surprisingly, it didn't. This time, her emotions were barely affected either. This proves that Lin Fan's resistance to negative emotions is increasing, much better than I imagined." Jin Sichen smiled, "Lin Fan is actually quite powerful. She just needs someone to help her. We're doing just that right now."
"Okay, I'm relieved." John Woo chuckled on the other end of the phone, told Jin Sichen to continue taking good care of Lin Fan, and then hung up the phone.
It is not appropriate to hold a meeting after working hours, and John Woo has not obtained any concrete evidence, so there is no need to be so anxious.
Jin Sichen decided to be a good person and hold a meeting at work tomorrow.
The next day, everyone was very excited when they learned about this new development.
Now, the focus of the causes of abnormalities has clearly shifted towards foreign objects in the brain, and attention to drug side effects has been greatly reduced.
Others may not pay attention, but Jin Sichen himself cannot.
While he waited for news from John Woo, he continued diligently examining the report. After reading the last page and confirming that Lin Fan's abnormality was not related to medication side effects, everyone finally focused their attention on the foreign object in his head.
Although it was finally determined that it was not related to the side effects of the drug, everyone still did not dare to give Lin Fan the medicine at will.
Fortunately, she had good food and drink in 800 miles, and under the protection of Song Ren and Zhang Chunhua, she didn't even have a chance to get a scratch.
Time passed in waiting, and another ten days passed.
Ever since he knew that Lin Fan couldn't swim and nearly drowned, Song Ren gave Lin Fan more swimming lessons, requiring him to practice twice a week in the swimming pool in the villa area.
Swimming itself is also a good exercise that can increase physical strength, exercise lung capacity, and reduce joint injuries.
The swim was scheduled for around 2:00 PM, after lunch. Having just finished lunch and rested, Lin Fan was at his peak energy. He swam halfway through, resting halfway, and then returned to the office building an hour later to "work."
That day, after Lin Fan finished swimming, he returned to Room 623. As he was strolling past the open conference room, he was suddenly stopped by someone.
"Lin Fan!" A familiar male voice was accompanied by a smile.
Lin Fan turned around and saw someone sitting in the conference room who shouldn't be there.
"John Woo?!"
John Woo is here to see Lin Fan. Double update for the fourth day. Hey, please give me your recommendation votes and monthly votes.