Chapter 16 - Look Your Sister
Original by Bro Got a Gun, Translated by James
“Haha, Haha!” Lu Bu was very pleased. This was the first time ever since Xiapi’s defeat did he laugh so happily.
It’s good as long as Boss Lu’s happy! Liu Mang was also relieved. He touched his pockets, there’s still those five thousand bucks from selling that gown. Liu Mang was tempted! A single gown was worth twenty thousand, what about the rest?! For example, some paintings?! Some historical antiques?!
Although Liu Mang was not an economics major, he still knows that antiques are some valuable stuff! There’s another valuable thing in the Three Kingdoms - gold! If he followed Boss Lu, conquered some land and obtained a position, he could get all the gold he wanted!
Just as Liu Mang was still in his delusions, Lu Bu’s face changed, he all of all sudden got serious again.
“Brother Liu Mang!” shouted Lu Bu as he looked at Liu Mang seriously.
“Yes!” hearing Lu Bu’s shout, Liu Mang quickly wipe away his saliva and responded.
“You have brought the provisions back in a timely manner and have even brought me the weapon and armor bestowed by the Great Emperor. According to principle, I ought to greatly reciprocate you!” Lu Bu placed the trident aside and sat in the center of the tent. On his sides were his wives, each more stunning than the last.
“No need to greatly reciprocate me, just give me some hundred eighty gold!” Liu Mang was totally blunt.
“Hundred eighty gold?!” Chen Gong, with a wry smile, shook his head. Had it been in the ordinary times, back when Lu Bu still had the Xu Province, then Liu Mang’s request was certainly reasonable. Perhaps, Lu Bu would even award him more than that. Alas, they are currently fleeing! Who would bring gold when they flee?! Only Lu Bu’s three wives would even have things like jewelry or so!
“However!” Lu Bu added an however to his words, causing Liu Mang’s heart to suddenly jump. He had a bad premonition.
“Brother Liu Mang, it’s fine for you to return back from the Heaven. However, instead of my tent, Chen Gong’s tent, or even Gao Shun or Zhang Liao’s tent, you appeared in my daughter’s tent. Say, how shall we deal with this?!” said Lu Bu with a golden flash in his eyes.
“Father, you!” Originally, Liu Mang’s appearance in her tent was only known to Lu Bu, Chen Gong and a few others. However, with what Lu Bu just said, everyone now knows! This caused Miss Lu’s face to immediately redden.
“Misunderstanding! This is definitely a misunderstanding!” Liu Mang was at a loss. How many fucking days have he been here? For he to be misunderstood so many times!
[TL: He’s been here for 2 days now! Hmm…. he was mistaken for a Cao spy, then a Lu Bu general, then Cao general, then…. way too fucking many!]
“Misunderstanding?!” With a pondering expression, Lu Bu looked at Liu Mang. Seeing Lu Bu’s expression, Chen Gong mind had a sudden turn and stepped forward to speak.
“How could it be a misunderstanding?!” said Chen Gong righteously. “A woman ought to be pure, ought to remain chaste, your one misunderstanding have seen all of our Miss’s body! Say, how would our Lu Bu army’s Miss be able to go out in the future?! How would she be able to get married off in the future?! “
“It really was a misunderstanding! That transfer… no… the Great Emperor set the location for me to appear in the heavenly realm to be that Aries Gold Cloth! For the Gold Cloth to be taken by Miss Lu, I really didn’t know that!” Liu Mang have tried his best to explain. However, it was obvious that Boss Lu wasn’t pleased with his explanation, he even saw that Boss Lu once again grabbed the trident.
Is he going to kill me?! Liu Mang subconsciously swallowed his saliva and said “If she can’t be married off, then just marry her to me!” Once these words came out of his mouth, Liu Mang knew he fucked up. Not mentioning that Miss Lu, being Boss Lu’s daughter, is of high status; her appearance was devastating beautiful, capable of causing the downfall of a city or state! In today’s society, she’s certainly an authentic BaiFuMei how would she possibly fancy a DiaoSi like himself?!
[TL: Bai Fu Mei, literally means white, rich, pretty. Standards for a top quality beauty in china.
Diaosi, mentioned before a couple times. DiaoSi is a chinese slang meaning that the guy is of mediocre appearance, humble family, no car, no house and no connection. Basically a loser. Oh yeah, didn’t mention before but DiaoSi literally means penis thread/hair]
“Who would marry a lecher like you!” Lu Lingqi was enraged. What a evening she had. After practicing martial arts, she planned to take off her armor and rest. However, who would’ve expected that there appeared out of thin air this lecher in front of her. Not only did he saw her naked body, he also held her to stop her screaming and even touched… touched! Lu Lingqi’s face was completely red! It was unclear rather it’s because of her anger of her embarrassment.
And now, he even dared to openly demand for I to be married to him! Did he really think that no one would want me?! Father will certainly not agree to that!
Like Liu Mang, Lu Lingqi too believed that Lu Bu would never agree to that. Liu Mang even wanted to run away. However, in this wilderness, where would he run to?! The transfer CD is still there!
“Good! Once said, even four horses cannot unsay it! ” Ferociously slapping his chair, Lu Bu stood up. “Your marriage is thus set! When we meet up with Zang Ba, Zang Xuangao, you two shall be married!”
“What?! Father!” Lu Lingqi called.
“Nani?!” Liu Mang too did not expect that. He was looking at Boss Lu with eyes of bewilderment.
[TL: yep, he went and said nani, japanese for what.]
“Father, I do not want to marry this lecher!” Lu Lingqi shouted hurriedly.
Liu Mang originally also wanted to turn down the marriage. However, hearing Lu Lingqi’s words, he was instead incited. “Who is going to marry a violent woman like you!” The marks of getting beaten up by Lu Lingqi was still there!
“Who did you call violent woman?!” With her canines showing and eyes shining, Lu Lingqi shouted back at Liu Mang.
“You you you you it’s you!” said Liu Mang hiding behind Gao Shun.
“Lecher, you want to die?!” This little tigress Lu Lingqi was enraged. She rolled up her sleeves exposing her spotlessly white and jade-like arm and was about to engage Liu Mang.
“Help! A tigress is trying to kill someone!” Liu Mang and Lu Lingqi started a game of chase around Gao Shun, exposing him to an awkward situation. If he don’t stand there, then little Teacher Liu Mang would be caught and beaten up by the Miss. With his frail body, who knows if he could even shoulder the beating. And if Gao Shun doesn’t move and continue to be a wooden stalk standing there for the two, it’s an unpleasant feeling.
“Nonsense! Are you two done?!” A furious Lu Bu shouted at the two abruptly.
The two immediately stopped. There’s still a big tiger on the stage!
“Congratulations my lord on obtaining such an ideal son in law!” Chen Gong was the first to respond. He had the same idea as Lu Bu. Regarding that Heavenly Man Liu Mang’s means of doing things, he was completely awestruck; and if what he says was the truth, then whoever shall obtain him shall receive the world! Divine weapon! Outstanding able individual! And to be able to obtain provisions for thousands out of thin air! Although Liu Mang said that he was under the orders of the Great Emperor to pass the world to the Lu clan, no one knew what he was thinking!
Thus, the main importance right now is to tie Liu Mang to this Lu Bu army’s war chariot! Currently Lu Bu have neither city nor treasure, the only thing he could give was his precious daughter.
To obtain Lu Bu’s daughter was the equivalent of obtaining half of the Lu Bu army.
“Boss Lu, please don’t!” It wasn’t that Liu Mang didn’t want to obtain a beautiful wife. After all, according to the twenty some year old bachelor Liu Mang ‘having a woman be his girlfriend was already godsend!’
But being pretty was one thing, can’t your martial prowess not be so strong?! Having already beaten up once, Liu Mang does not want to be beaten his whole life!
“Are you trying not to be responsible?!” Regarding other issues, Lu Bu was willing to concede. However, this was something he would not concede. A pair of tiger eyes glaring at Liu Mang caused him to swallow the words he wanted to say.
“Father, I do not want to marry him!” Lu Lingqi’s words brought immense joy to Liu Mang. It’s good to not marry me, please! I beg you dear great aunt, don’t marry me please!
“The order of your parents, the words of your matchmaker, where comes your say in this matter?!” To reprimand Liu Mang, perhaps Lu Bu might still take consideration but to reprimand his own daughter, it was completely normal for him to do.
“Mother?! Second and Third Mothers?!” Being unable to persuade her father, Lu Lingqi moved onto Lu Bu’s three wives.
“Husband, this…?” said Lady Ren. She was Diao Chan, history’s number one beauty. She was the most loved by Lu Bu. Toward Lu Lingqi, she loved her no less than Lu Bu.
“This matter is non negotiable!” Lu Bu loved Diao Chan deeply. He would even discard everything for her. However, currently, he refuse to listen to her.
Lady Yan was the first wife, she’s also Lu Lingqi’s mother. She too could not bear her daughter being married off. Once married, her daughter will become someone else’s wife, someone else’s daughter in law. How would she possibly be willing to do that?! However, seeing that her husband was so firm, Lady Yan knew that her persuasions would account to nothing.
“Lingqi, your father was also thinking of your good! Don’t act willfully and make a scene!”
“Humph!” Watching both her father and mother act like this, Lu Lingqi knew that she cannot escape from marrying this lecher. In a fury, she disregarded everyone present and ran toward her tent.
Liu Mang have made up his mind. After all, he have already rescued Lu Bu, have already been extremely benevolent to Boss Lu. For the sake of the future, for the sake of his life, Liu Mang decided to leave after the transfer CD finishes cooling down.
He could go find little authority Sun or big old Yuan Shao. If he sells some modern armor or so to them, certainly they will treat him like a honored guest!
“Reporting!” A messenger ran in. “Reporting to the lord, we have discovered enemy troops twenty li ahead!”
“Discovered enemy troops?!” Lu Bu frowned. “Cao Cao was certainly fast to arrive!”
“Not Cao Cao!” Chen Gong shook his head. The Cao army was blocked at the gates of Xiapi. Wei Xu and Song Xian should have blocked them in for at least half a day. With half a day’s time, it was enough for the Lu Bu army to gain enough distance from the Cao army.
“These troops should have been sent from Guangling!” Chen Gong guessed correctly.
“Guangling?!” Lu Bu’s eyes became filled with murderous intent. “Chen Deng of Guangling!!” The Chen Deng father and son have harmed Lu Bu greatly! For the interests of their Chen family, they sold out Lu Bu just like that! Although Wei Xu and Song Xian also betrayed him, he could still forgive them since they were his brothers. But that Chen family falls in a completely different category!
“Obey my orders, Gao Shun and Zhang Liao! Come with me, we shall meet Chen Deng, Chen Yuanlong!”
“Yes!” Gao Shun and Zhang Liao both went back to the barracks to pick the troops to meet the enemy with Lu Bu with.
Liu Mang originally planned to slip away in times of chaos but was instead caught by Boss Lu. “Come worthy son in law Liu Mang, let’s go have a look at this divine weapon being used for the first time in my hands!”
“Fuck, look your sister!”
[TL: Look your sister is the same as the English equivalent of 'look my ass'. Hope that solves the mystery.]