Just those three words.
You could already imagine just how devastated Old Ray was.
The sheer destructive power of those words was beyond measure.
Rayleigh was drowning in regret.
If only he hadn’t worn this today!
And as for Vir—he was still frozen in place.
Unable to recover for a long while.
‘Oh, okay.’
‘Well done, Old Ray.’
‘You really pulled a fast one!’
‘So this is what you’ve been hiding!’
‘You’re like a goddamn Garen with Infinity Edge—coming at me with a crit and silence combo right out of the bush!’
‘Honestly, even if you had a full portrait up there, I wouldn’t have batted an eye.’
‘But “DO NOT ENTER”?’
‘I can’t even—’
‘No wonder you exploded so hard just now!’
‘You were hiding this little secret all along!’
But at that moment, Rayleigh realized something even more terrifying.
His butt had already torn through the pants…
And it was still growing!
Still freaking growing!
Rayleigh was internally breaking down.
‘This is way too much!’
‘My custom made legendary underwear!’
‘IT’S GONNA GIVE OUT!’
Rayleigh screamed in his mind.
His hands didn’t stop moving though.
He was pressing both hands against his butt as hard as he could, trying to flatten it to stop the underwear from ripping further.
This was top-tier torture.
But that perky butt of his kept perking up.
It wasn’t something he could suppress.
Finally, under Rayleigh’s bloodshot, despair-filled eyes—
*Riiip~*
Another faint tearing sound.
His legendary underwear… had officially retired!
[Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve earned 130,000 negative points!]
Hearing that sound, Vir knew—
Uncle Ray had been squeezed dry.
Not a single drop left.
But strangely, the points earned were way less than earlier…
What was this old man even thinking?
Even before the pale glory was revealed, Vir had already covered it with his coat.
Old Ray had suffered enough.
Poor guy.
“Uncle Ray, how are you feeling now?”
Vir asked with an expression of genuine concern.
At this point, Rayleigh was half-tempted to die—but even more tempted to kill Vir first.
Clenching his teeth, he forced out a trembling question:
“How… long… does this last?!”
Vir could see the agony on Rayleigh’s face.
“Relax, it won’t last long—at most a month, tops. You can just chill somewhere remote during that time.”
Surprisingly, Vir’s reassurance actually helped.
And it was true.
If Rayleigh just holed up on some deserted island for a bit, he’d be back to normal soon enough.
After calming himself down, Rayleigh’s anger quickly faded.
If that was all there was to it, then this wasn’t a bad deal.
Power growth, all internal injuries healed.
Priceless.
Side effect… tolerable!!
At this point, Rayleigh’s butt had grown to watermelon size.
An utterly ridiculous sight.
Seeing this, Vir felt a flash of compassion.
Using the millions of Negative Points Rayleigh had just provided, he exchanged 0.5 points for a pair of Hulk-brand stretchy shorts from the System Shop.
“Here, Uncle Ray—put these on. They’re custom-made, super elastic. Guaranteed not to rip.”
Vir spoke with total sincerity.
Rayleigh took them half-doubtfully.
*Snap~*
With a finger snap, a spatial door opened beside Rayleigh.
He turned, confused.
“Changing room.” Vir said casually.
Not long after—
Rayleigh stepped out wearing the Hulk shorts.
“You’re sure these won’t rip?” he asked skeptically.
“Guaranteed! Even tanks with a 1300cm hip circumference wear these. You’re nowhere close, old man.”
Vir responded with total confidence.
Come on.
If the Hulk can wear them, there’s no way you can break ’em.
Hearing that, Rayleigh walked over to Vir.
Clapped a hand on his shoulder.
“Thanks.”
He said with rare sincerity.
But Vir just grinned.
Vir (in his head): Look at these half-point shorts, and he’s thanking me like I saved his life!
“No problem! We’re family, Uncle Ray! FAMILY! Hahahaha!”
Vir laughed cheerfully.
Hearing that, Rayleigh couldn’t help but smile too.
‘This kid… maybe he’s not so bad—like hell!’
‘Even if he’s nice, he’s still a damn demon at heart!’
‘…I’ll let it slide for now.’
“Tsk tsk tsk, Rayleigh, what’s with that look? Real fashionable, huh? Those shorts are stretched to the limit!” Marco teased mercilessly.
Back in the day, he’d gotten a lot of help from Rayleigh.
But the old man had also beaten the crap out of him plenty.
Some grudges just can’t be forgotten.
One time, Rayleigh even blocked his Phoenix Brand with a single palm.
What kind of young man could take that kind of humiliation?
But since he couldn’t win a fight, he settled for holding a grudge.
“You little mutt, keep yapping and I’ll sit on you till you’re flat!”
Rayleigh had thick skin.
Marco’s teasing didn’t bother him one bit.
So what if his butt was big?
A big butt wasn’t fatal.
Hell, a big butt meant strong sons!
Plenty of people dreamed of having one!
Only issue is mobility.
That part is annoying.
And the fact that he’d become a walking spotlight everywhere he went.
Sigh.
Just then, Vir chimed in again.
“Uncle Ray, don’t think that big butt is useless! It’s super practical!”
“Here, turn around for a sec.”
Vir had that mischievous grin on his face.
Rayleigh didn’t really want to—but curiosity got the better of him.
So he turned around.
The others looked confused too.
Big butts are usually just a hassle, right?
At most, you fall on your butt and get sympathy.
What good could it possibly do?
Then—
Vir picked up his medical kit.
And placed it right on Rayleigh’s firm, upturned backside.
…Yep.
Just like that.
And it stayed perfectly balanced.
With Rayleigh standing completely straight.
Achievement Unlocked.
“Uncle Ray! Your butt is officially perky enough to hold up a whole med-kit!”
“You can even rest your toolbox on it while coating ships—super convenient!”
Vir was totally serious.
But…
Rayleigh snapped.
‘Using my butt to carry tools?’
‘The only thing I can imagine carrying like this is sack of flour!’
‘You damn brat!!’
‘And what’s with “perky enough to hold a medical kit”?!’
‘I’ll perk you into orbit!’
—–
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