“M-Mom…”
In a panic, Azriel dropped the dagger. With a loud clank, it hit the floor, making him flinch as the sound echoed through the room.
Azriel looked down at the dagger, about to crouch and grab it hurriedly, but before he could, his mother moved.
Suddenly, she was right in front of him, gripping his left hand tightly with a cold expression.
“What is the meaning of this?”
Azriel gulped, looking at her face. There wasn’t a hint of humor in her tone—it was serious.
“I-It’s not what it looks like, Mom! Don’t misunderstand. I was just… testing something.”
“And what exactly were you testing that required you to harm yourself?”
“A… skill,” he mumbled.
Aeliana narrowed her eyes at Azriel, who looked back at her, his face pale.
“A skill?”
Azriel nodded quickly, desperate to convince her.
For a few tense seconds, she stared directly into his eyes. He held her gaze, the silence growing heavier and more awkward with every passing moment.
Finally, she sighed, loosening her grip on his hand.
“I won’t ask what kind of skill requires you to cut yourself, but don’t ever use it again.”
Azriel nodded instinctively, though deep down, he knew whether he could obey her words was an entirely different matter.
“Drink this.”
Releasing his hand, Aeliana handed him a health potion. Azriel silently took it and drank, the bitter liquid burning slightly as it went down. Without hesitation, Aeliana took the empty vial from him, dropping it next to the silver dagger on the ground.
Then, with a snap of her fingers, both the vial and the dagger burst into flames. In mere seconds, they were incinerated until not even dust remained. Only a faint trail of smoke lingered before vanishing.
She took his hand again, her grip firm but gentle, and led him to his bed. Azriel sat down, obediently allowing her to guide him.
Sitting beside him, she pulled out a cloth—he hadn’t even noticed her holding it—and began wiping the blood from his left hand.
Azriel watched her, noticing the quiet frown etched on her face. A small smile tugged at his lips despite himself.
When she was done, she threw the bloodstained cloth to the side of the room without a second thought, turning back to him.
But then her expression froze.
She stared at his faint smile, her face quickly twisting into a troubled, almost pained look. Her eyes trembled as though she was holding back something unbearable.
Azriel’s smile vanished instantly.
“Mom, what’s wrong?”
Leaning forward, he placed his hands on her shoulders, his worry plain on his face. This wasn’t about the dagger—he was sure of it.
Aeliana’s body trembled as she bit her lip, her gaze dropping to the floor. Azriel felt the slight shudder in her shoulders grow stronger.
“Is something wrong?” he asked again.
“Something wrong…?” she murmured.
“Yes… yes, there is something horribly wrong.”
His heart began to race.
What happened?
Was it Dad?
Jasmine?
Iryndra?
Nol?
“There’s been something horribly wrong for the past two years… My own son was trapped in something unspeakably awful, and his mother— I—was clueless. I gave up. I cried. I locked myself away, trying to forget about him, trying to forget about you, when I should have been searching for answers. When you needed me most, I chose to close my eyes.”
Azriel’s body froze. His eyes slowly widened.
“Mom…”
She lifted her gaze, her red, tear-streaked eyes locking onto his. Azriel’s breath hitched in his throat. His heart clenched as he took in the sight of her trembling form, tears spilling freely down her face.
“And when my son finally came back to us…” Her voice cracked. “Instead of helping you, we pretended everything was fine. We ignored it—ignored you. We acted like, as long as we never asked, as long as we avoided the truth, it wouldn’t be real. As if it wasn’t a problem at all for you to still be smiling, still laughing with us, as though nothing had happened. Like you were fine. Like we didn’t force you to pretend it was all fine.”
Her voice broke completely, a sob slipping through her words.
“I was scared, Azriel. I was so scared to ask my own son what he had been through to come back to us. Scared to know the horrors you had to endure.”
Her hands trembled violently as she reached out, placing them gently on either side of his face. She cupped his cheeks, her sobs growing louder, her grief spilling out in waves.
“You’re a Crimson… We had prepared you to face horrors. We told ourselves that was just our fate. It’s what made us stand above all other humans. But…” Her voice faltered as she choked on her own words. “I forgot the worst horrors in both worlds… are humans. You… you faced them alone. The worst kind. You fought every single day to survive while we—while I—did nothing. We didn’t know… We didn’t try to know. And you kept walking forward, step after step, until you couldn’t anymore. Until you were forced to throw away your own life…”
Her fingers shook against his skin as fresh tears streamed down her face.
“Your own life… Oh gods, Azriel. I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry…”
Azriel sat completely still, unable to move. He couldn’t think, couldn’t speak.
Yet she kept going, her sobs wracking her body, her words tumbling out between uneven breaths.
“And… and even then, when you had to tell us, when you were forced to speak… you still smiled. You smiled so we wouldn’t worry. My son… my child had to comfort me… instead of me comforting you.” Her voice broke into a whisper, trembling with anguish. “How… how could I fail you so miserably? Why? Why do you always look at us like that, Azriel? Why… why can’t you hate us?”
Her tears blurred her vision as her voice turned to a desperate plea.
“Why do you keep loving us…? Please… Why can’t you hate me?”
“….”
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“….”
“What are you saying, Mom…? Why? Why would I ever hate you?”
Azriel’s voice trembled slightly with confusion as he looked at his sobbing mother.
At his words, a bitter, painful smile twisted across her face.
“Tell me, Azriel… when have we ever done anything worthy of being considered your family? When have I ever done anything to deserve being called… your mother?”
“Huh…”
Azriel’s hands loosened on her shoulders. With trembling fingers, Aeliana reached for his hands, gripping them tightly.
“How did you feel the day you came to me and your father and said you didn’t want to be a hero? How did it feel, seeing how disappointed we looked at you? How did it feel when we looked at you with judgment because you didn’t train as hard as Jasmine? When every day, it seemed like we were disappointed in you? When you didn’t attend all the banquets? When your name was being tarnished, and we did nothing? When you were so scared, so pressured, you had to secretly keep up with everyone else? When you were all alone in the void realm? When you were trapped in that Neo Genesis facility?” Her voice cracked even more as her grip tightened. “How did it feel knowing that you had one of the strongest families in existence… and we were absolutely useless to you?”
“…”
Her fingers dug into his skin, almost painfully, as if she were trying to hold onto the last thread of something that was slipping away.
“Knowing all of that… why don’t you hate us? Why, my son… why are you so kind? Why, after everything, did you never hate us? Never get angry with us? Never blame us?”
Azriel looked at her, tilting his head slightly, his eyes searching her face, before a hoarse voice broke from his throat.
“Because… you are my family…”
“….”
“All of those things happened… because of my own choices. I chose everything. No matter how bad the choice was, it was still mine. Why would I ever blame you, Dad, or Jasmine for any of that? I could never hate you, Mom. I could never hate my family. If I had to walk through hell for you, Dad, and Jasmine… I wouldn’t hesitate. If every bad thing I’ve gone through, and will go through, means my family can be happy… I won’t hesitate.”
It was as if the last piece of a crumbling tower had fallen. Aeliana collapsed, her body shaking uncontrollably as she sobbed.
Azriel immediately moved forward, wrapping his arms around her, holding her tightly as her sobs grew louder.
“I’m sorry, Mom… I never wanted to make you feel this way… I’m so sorry…”
“P-please… please… d-don’t… be… sorry… don’t be… s-sorry…”
Azriel squeezed her tighter, his hands trembling as he gently caressed her hair. He bit down on his lip, tasting his own blood.
Until she cried herself to sleep, Azriel held her in his arms, apologizing over and over in his mind.