—–
What had just happened between Partner and I was something… Quite beautiful and even magical. It felt as if I was going through a dream this entire time, but it was all real. I still can feel the warmth she gave to me, and how good it felt to be embraced and loved intimately like that. I had never experienced such feelings before in my previous life, and I don’t know if I ever did it in this second life when I was alive… Because I don’t remember anything from this second life, and deep down, I secretly wish to not remember, because it was most likely possible that such experiences and memories could negatively affect me. I guess it is not right to have such thoughts after having gone through something so nice and cute with the girl I love, but it was something that was lingering on my mind when I was relaxing in bed with her.
But there were many other thoughts that lingered within my mind as I thought about all these things, although I felt so happy, there was also some sort of feeling of guilty within me. Should I had done what I did with her? Should I had so easily embraced her love? Although I felt doubt, I wanted to make her happy because she genuinely makes my life happier as well. I wanted to see her happy, to feel my love as much as I feel hers… but was that okay to do? Maybe I went too far ahead of myself… Perhaps I abused her innocence to get away with my degeneracy? Is this what men call post nut clarity?
Hahhh… I feel a bit bad now, what should I do? Should I tell her something about this? Maybe I have to apologize… Even if she’s happy now, she might realize the thing I’ve done and associate it with something bad or something… Or maybe I am being too insecure? Should I let these insecurities eat away my confidence as a person? Ugh… Despite all the strength I have attained, despite how much I’ve grown, I am still a human deep down, with all my flaws. It is hard to take decisions. I was never a confident girl in my previous life, in fact, I lacked a lot of self-confidence.
After we did the deed, we ended both sleeping over the bed while covered in blankets, I had even formed a barrier made of darkness around the room so nobody came to bother us, but as I woke up, I began having all these weird thoughts. Sigh, I wish I could be less human, but this humanity deep within my soul hasn’t gone away, and makes me doubtful, filled with flaws, and afraid of the slightest of things, all while sometimes I just go insane and don’t care about anything. I really do have big mood swings, don’t I? Perhaps because of the curse of being a ghost… After all, my status still says “Cursed”.
“Mwuh… Eh? Ah… Master… Did I fell asleep?” Asked Partner.
“Yeah… We did. It was good… Did you feel good as well?” I wondered.
“Yep… I liked it… It feels like you really, really love me now… Hehe, I feel fluffy feelings inside of my heart.” She said while giggling.
“You’re so cute…” I sighed. “I… I really do love you.”
“I love you too, fufu…” Partner said, as she kissed my lips tenderly.
“I… I was thinking about stuff…” I sighed.
“Huh? What is it?” She wondered. “Tell me anything you have in mind; I will always be there to listen to you.”
“…Really?” I asked.
“Yes… Please, tell me anything you got in your mind!” She said happily.
“Alright… I… It just that… A-Are you okay with what we did?” I wondered.
“Eh?”
“I just thought that maybe I got too perverted and I abused your goodwill…” I sighed.
“Ah? T-That’s not right… I think I am the one guilty here… I’ve been feeling a bit bad as well, did I forced you into it, Master? If so, I am very sorry…” She said.
“Oh, no… Don’t worry about it, I actually loved it a lot…” I said. “I am just concerned about how you felt.”
“It felt very good, don’t worry!” She said. “I’ve never felt such sensations ever before… Feeling you licking there was… Ahh~”
“I-I see…” I sighed. “I know you have still yet to live as much as other shad done it, but I suppose you’ve grown quite mature already…”
“Technically my skeleton is my age, right? I was one before… So I think I could have a similar age to you!” Said Partner. “But I don’t think that should really matter, right?”
“Ahaha… Well, you were like my little girl back then but you grew up so fast… So I was feeling guilty…” I sighed.
“Ah! N-No, don’t feel guilty! It’s okay… We are Undead anyways, aren’t we like, ageless?” She wondered.
“True…” I said. “I guess I can go with that logic to feel better with myself… I suppose it is a delicate matter, but for now let’s leave it at that, I suppose overly complicating things will only lead to more unnecessary doubts, right?”
“Yeah, take it easy, not everything has to be so deep and profound, life is simpler than you think, just let it flow like a river.” Said Partner.
“Wow, you really say some very smart things sometimes!” I said. “I can’t believe your soul was a mass of phantom some months ago…”
“Hehe, I grew very fast thanks to your love and care.” She said.
“Ugh… Now I feel guilty again…” I sighed.
“Oh! S-Sorry, I didn’t implied it as if I saw you as my mother or something, hahaha!” Giggled Partner.
“Yeah, that would be a bit weird, but I can be motherly with you if you want to.” I said with a smile.
“M-Motherly?!” She asked while blushing.
“Fufu, don’t you want it?” I asked.
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