The Third Job (2)
It was, of course, a good thing to earn the trust of my leader. However, I was not too fond of this particular type of trust.
I didn’t know how to evaluate myself, but if I were to describe it, I would be a child who still needed Kim Hyunsung’s warm love and attention, especially when it came to growth.
I did not need to ask why I needed to raise my abilities and get another job, for I understood the urgency, but I was not too fond of this overestimation.
‘At least doubt me a little, you bastard…’
Although I had painted the image of being fine on my own, I didn’t particularly appreciate being put in this kind of situation. At the same time, I knew what Kim Hyunsung was thinking.
‘This expedition will most likely end in failure.’
This was because my fellow party members were indeed highly dependent on the psychological stability my presence offered.
“If oppa is not going, then I’m not going to go, either. I will never want to go.”
“…”
The problem was Jung Hayan. As the expedition date fast approached, she would come up with all sorts of excuses to try and be excluded from the expedition as well.
On the first day since our discussion, Kim Hyunsung immediately moved to achieve the goals he had cooked up for the whole party.
He thought that if he managed to change his job or achieved desirable stats during the few days of preparing for the expedition, he would not have to leave the expedition. Of course, there was still the matter of Jung Hayan not wanting to take part, but he would have to find another solution for that.
‘Of course.’
Achieving legendary status would be an impossible feat to achieve in a very short time. Every member had shown astonishing growth in such short periods, but it was apparent that we would not reach our target this time around.
Jung Hayan, on the other hand, began to exhibit behavior similar to someone who was anticipating death.
During the preparation time, she eventually went through the five stages: denial, anger, compromise, depression, and, eventually, acceptance.
It didn’t take too long for her to undergo the first step. She began to deny the fact that she would have to leave me for a month. In her mind, what Kim Hyunsung said was probably a joke.
On the other hand, Park Deokgu and Sun Hee-young began to set their minds toward the upcoming expedition, packing everything they would need for the hunt. It was then that Jung Hayan was forced to face reality.
Anger came soon enough.
‘…’
She had begun to hate Kim Hyunsung, who was responsible for the sudden expedition schedule. I felt worried for a while, but it didn’t seem like her anger would give her any intention to kill him. Somewhere from deep within, she still regarded Kim Hyunsung with respect.
In short, Jung Hayan spent this stage screaming in her room and exhibiting a neurotic expression. She did not forget to let out her pent-up anger to Kim Ye-ri, either, seeing as the child was the weakest target among the party aside from me. I knew she was only doing it to try and find an excuse to be excluded from the expedition.
She tried to find faults with the kid and took every opportunity she could find to criticize. In short, Jung Hayan was being Jung Hayan.
It got to the point where she approached Park Deokgu to talk behind Kim Ye-ri’s back. Considering Jung Hayan’s personality, this didn’t feel right at all.
When she entered the next stage – compromise – there were a lot of talks.
She tried to give various suggestions, appearing to be possessed.
“I can really work hard. I can increase my stats just as well without having to go on this expedition. So please…”
That was one.
“How about we all go together for a week? That will work better.”
That was another.
“I think oppa should come, but he should just watch over us, just like Hyunsung.”
However, I knew her suggestions wouldn’t be accepted. Whether she liked it or not, she had to go through this expedition without me, and I had to stay back and work independently. I, too, acknowledged the need for the lack of my presence for this expedition, and so I stayed quiet.
Sun Hee-young and Park Deokgu reacted in the same manner, but that was less dramatic to an extent. There was no incentive for a formal protest to occur, but this proved to be quite the trigger for Park Deokgu.
It was just a guess, but I thought that Park Deokgu was also in the compromise stage. It came to the point where they would approach me at random intervals.
Then the most difficult stage came – depression.
She noticeably began to lose weight and often spent the night in tears. She also often said her physical situation was chipping away and that she wouldn’t join the expedition because of it.
‘I really hate it…’
Slowly, the periods where she would mutter to herself shortened. This stage proved to be tiring not only for Jung Hayan but also for me.
I tired myself out, trying my best to calm her down.
Of course, I tried to soothe her with the end-of-expedition rewards she would be receiving and the welcoming I would give her once she got back, but the fact that she would be away from me for a month was enough to dull those comforts.
I knew Jung Hayan appreciated my efforts to comfort her, but it only made her feel more depressed. The sweeter our time was together, the more bitter our time apart would be.
The last step eventually came – but it did not come with consent.
Since I had observed her go through all the steps, I expected her to undergo acceptance as well eventually, but it seemed like this was not the case.
Simply put, she was forced to accept this reality. No matter how much she cried, the plan was set in motion and could not be stopped. This was the decision of the party as a whole, and it was also mine. Jung Hayan had no choice but to follow.
If a month-long separation already garnered such intense reactions, I did not want to think about the possibility of being separated for a year.
Apart from meeting me and developing strange tendencies, she was not accustomed to separation. Being someone who lived alone for a long time after being abandoned by my family, I did not mind the change as much as she did.
Apart from Jung Hayan’s dramatic schemes, however, everyone else did their part to prepare for the expedition’s day. However, I couldn’t say that they had prepared very well.
I didn’t understand why Jung Hayan couldn’t seem to control her mentality well, but it also seemed like Park Deokgu had been acting a bit strange.
Sun Hee-young had initially felt stressed, but she had soon begun to think of the expedition and had done her best to prepare for it. I did not know what Kim Ye-ri was thinking, on the other hand.
Meanwhile, upon watching everyone try to prepare for the expedition in their way, I did not feel all that anxious about being separated from the party.
‘It doesn’t seem all that bad, considering.’
Of course, something strange felt off about Park Deokgu, Jung Hayan, and Sun Hee-young, since none of them were familiar with the expedition.
I knew the stress would be doubled at having a little kid tagging alongside them on the trip, but I didn’t think it would be this much. It seemed that even Kim Hyunsung gradually lost his authoritative hand after our first discussion.
“Are you really going to go on the expedition in that state?”
“Yeah. It’s sad, but this is necessary. I know even you have noticed how dependent they have been on you.”
“Yeah, I have…”
“They’ll soon realize it once we officially start the expedition.”
“…”
“They haven’t felt it as you have been with them this entire time. However, they will soon know what I was talking about during the hunt. If you and I could always be with them, there’d be no problem, but…”
I could understand what Kim Hyunsung was talking about.
It wasn’t just that we were inexperienced when it came to hunting. Kim Hyunsung also knew that there was a problem with the party’s command system itself.
If he and I were there, it would be fine, but the problem was that our party had no backbone. The team would always look to us for guidance, and that in itself impeded their growth. It didn’t matter who among the three – Park Deokgu, Jung Hayan, or Sun Hee-young – would take the initiative, but they needed to take the first step in deciding their direction for growth.
Even achieving that would be enough.
To put it simply, this expedition would be a test for them to determine the next best option for our party.
‘Will it work?’
Honestly, I felt a little skeptical. It wasn’t just the issue of not having them with me, either. It felt like a month was not enough to pack and prepare all the consumables needed for such a trip.
All that Kim Ye-ri chose to carry were her bow and arrows.
Jung Hayan, on the other hand, was so preoccupied with the thought of not seeing me that most of what she packed were things that would remind her of me.
‘This…’
Many guilds and groups who had invested in our party would surely retract their offers right away if they saw how my team members were acting now.
“Still though… You should prepare all the basic essentials.”
“I have the basics prepared. These are things that Deokgu and Hee-young have managed to pack. I am anxious as well, but this is necessary. It is essential that they recognize the difference in this expedition.”
“I see.”
“Then, we should get going.”
“Yes…”
As Hyunsung and I headed out, I caught sight of the rest of our party members, who were all waiting for us to arrive.
Although Kim Hyunsung was carrying a large bag of his own, he already knew that all of this could quite possibly be for naught. I couldn’t help but sigh as I caught sight of Park Deokgu lugging about all the things he thought would be necessary for the expedition.
Upon seeing me, my fellow party members began to express their sentiments.
“Don’t worry too much, hyung. We won’t even take a month!”
I doubted that. I honestly thought it would take double the time to accomplish their goals.
“Please take care of everything while I’m gone, Mr. Kiyoung. I feel bad that I won’t be able to volunteer for the duration of this trip.”
I expected to hear that from Hee-young.
“Oppa… Oppa…”
I wasn’t surprised when Jung Hayan rushed towards me and hugged me with tears in her eyes.
“You should be careful in the meantime, and…”
“Don’t worry about me, Hayan.”
I was more worried about her.
Perhaps I was worried that she might meet someone else who she would deem worthy of her affections, but right now, all that could be focused on was the pain of being separated.
Upon Kim Hyunsung’s command, for everyone to start, I began to push Jung Hayan away. However, I never expected her to fall.
It seemed like she was doing her best to garner enough strength even just to stay standing. I couldn’t find it in me to continue gazing at a face filled with snot and tears.
“I will be back soon.”
“Please do not worry.”
‘Good luck.’
This expedition would surely not be a comfortable bus trip for everyone involved. I knew that Kim Hyunsung had his work cut out for him.
‘Perhaps it was a good thing that we didn’t go together.’
Only half of me believed in this thought.