Chapter 99. <Your Heart. (3) >
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Translator: thursdays Editor: Yahiko PR: LightBrin
3.
Mung.
-Zombie. Oi, Kim Zombie.
There’s this onomatopoeia, [mung], in Korean. It’s the sound that a dog makes as well as the word for when your mind goes blank.
Mung.
-Mr. Zombie Kim? Mr. Crow-tit Kim? Young Master of the Demonic Cult? Look here, Death King. Can you hear me?
I was mung. You couldn’t distinguish between mung and me. I was mung, and mung was I.
There was only one scene that occupied my mind.
A red carpet. Red eyes. A blue scent. A voice. A touch.
-Ah, this creep. You’ve been struck. Struck good and proper. The look in your eyes. It’s the same look as when the Chaegal family’s rogue fell in love with the Ice Palace’s head.
What was love…?
Confucius says: Love is a lily flower. [1]
The Lady of the Silver Lily…
-I’m sorry, Zombie. This is all my fault. She’s on a different level than you. Way too different. Because of me, you came to love someone who’s out of your league.
When I blankly turned to look at him, Bae Hu-ryeong was picking his nose with his finger. Somehow, it was the worst pose a person could make while apologizing.
Ah, wait. This isn’t a person. It’s a ghost…
-But honestly, it’s really funny. Do more.
I blankly muttered in my mind.
‘Suicide…’
-Huh?
‘If I commit suicide, I can experience the same thing again, right…?’
-You crazy bastard… Still, at least you’re aware enough not to talk about suicide regression out in the open. That’s a relief. All this is being broadcasted in the Tower…
“Suicide…”
-Your awareness is flying away! This crazy bastard! Hey! Shiny!
[Shiny jumps up and strikes the warrior’s head.]
“Aaaack!”
I held my head in my hands and rolled around on the grass in the garden.
“I know I’m not in my right mind! But what can I do when I can’t stop thinking of Her Ladyship’s face?!”
-You call her Her Ladyship even when she’s not around? You’re getting one step ahead of yourself…
“Oh, I shouldn’t wash my face today. Even if I wash my face, I won’t wash behind my ears. Does it still smell like lilies? Can you smell the back of my ear for me?”
-Two steps…
“How many times did that ramen-headed prince save the world in his previous life to receive Her Ladyship’s love? Oh, damn it. Internet. I need the internet. The internet and computers. I need to leave comments, like ‘I want to be like the crown prince too,’ on every single article…”
-Three steps, fuck… [2]
“O’, love! Sweet poison! An addiction I cannot deny! Ah, my heart!”
-I knew it. I knew that this kid would flip out of the universe when he found love. I knew it, but I advised him anyway. I’m a horrible person.
“I’m not the only one feeling this!”
[The immersion toward the character is deepened.]
[Currently, your immersion rate is 21%.]
“Look! This body keeps getting more immersed with the butler. This means he has the same feelings, and what feelings would those be? The butler has also fallen in love with the Lady of the Silver Lily!”
-Uh. Didn’t that butler love the gold silk or iron ax lady?
“Ha. You don’t know anything. Does love have to bloom for only one person? Love doesn’t work like that. Love—well, love is love. Love is like… love.”
-Wow. It’s been less than half a day since you had your first love, and wow…
I stretched out on the lawn. It was midday. Classes were happening at the academy. The Heretic Questioner, the crown prince, and the Lady of the Silver Lily were at their lessons.
“How can I get the Lady of the Silver Lily? No, what am I saying? I’ve no right to say something like that. Just… How can I make the lady happy?”
-Since I released your madness onto the world, I’ll take some responsibility and give you advice.
Bae Hu-ryeong harrumphed.
-This isn’t the time to think about that sort of thing, you baby.
“Then what am I supposed to think about, old man?”
-You need to know about the other person more.
“I know her.”
-Well, when you’re in a relationship, you have to be very aware of your partner. That’s how to be a man. But right now, you’re her exclusive servant. Even if you don’t do anything, you will have more time to be with her. You have the advantage of location.
“The advantage of location…”
-Yes. So, feel free to observe the other person a little more.
“But…”
-But?
“It’s not going to last much longer. This world, that is.”
-Hmm.
Bae Hu-ryeong crossed his arms.
-That is a big problem.
Bae Hu-ryeong spoke vaguely. It was as if the ‘problem’ I was talking about was different than the one he perceived.
However, a bell rang, announcing that class was over, and I couldn’t ask Bae Hu-ryeong why his tone was like that.
The truth of the problem was revealed that very night.
4.
It was a dark night with the clouds swallowing the moon.
The candles in the dormitory were struggling to lift up the darkness, but it was clear that they were insufficient. Sormwyn Academy was sinking into blackness.
“You can think of it as your reward for showing me something special.”
In this darkness, the Lady of the Silver Lily led the way with her lantern.
I followed after her, being careful not to step on her shadow.
“For that, I will tell you my secret.”
“……”
The Lady of the Silver Lily was wearing her nightdress. The white dress was loose over her form. My heart jumped every time the hem of her dress fluttered. Was this because I’d gone nuts, like Bae Hu-ryeong said? But wasn’t this feeling too tender to say it was nuts?
“Follow me.”
The Lady of the Silver Lily walked forward. At night, nobody was in the hallway. As I followed her, I stared openly at her fingers, lit up by the lantern’s light.
“What are you thinking right now?” the Lady of the Silver Lily asked suddenly.
“What?”
“I asked what you’re thinking about. I can feel your gaze. I’m curious.”
“……”
“Although it is only temporary, you are my servant. Is it not disloyal to refuse to answer your master’s question? I said I’m curious, so you have to answer.”
I hesitated.
“That’s…”
“Speak.”
“…I was thinking that I wanted to hold your hand.”
When I spoke, rather than my tongue moving, my heart seemed to leap out of my mouth. I was embarrassed.
I hadn’t been so embarrassed even when Shiny was singing my praises. Really. My face was so hot I thought I was going to die.
“Hmm.”
Just then, something closed around my left hand.
It was the Lady of the Silver Lily’s hand.
Her skin. Her touch. The cool temperature. The moment her dry fingers wrapped around mine, I almost mistook them to be gripping around my heart. A flower scent thickened inside my head.
Even though we were just holding hands.
“Y-your Ladyship.”
“Have you been thinking of me all day long?”
My tongue crisped up inside my mouth.
“Did you miss my touch and fragrance? Did you fantasize about me?”
“I…”
“Answer. If you’re not honest, I’ll let go.”
“I-I thought about you.”
“Properly.”
My head was spinning.
“Today, all day, I only thought about you, milady.”
The fragrance of flowers turned into a voice and whispered in my ears.
“Well said. You are my faithful servant.”
[The immersion toward the character is deepened.]
[Currently, your immersion rate is 29%.]
Now.
I no longer knew up from down.
I just didn’t know.
“Y-you shouldn’t do this.”
“What shouldn’t I do?”
Think.
Let’s think.
“I-I’m from beyond this world… borrowing the body of a butler.”
“So?”
[The silver-plated heart is looking at you.]
“Didn’t you say that you saw me as ‘human’?”
“I…”
“Did you lie?”
[The silver-plated heart is looking at you.]
“In the end, do you, just like the other apostles, consider me just a ‘native’ or an ‘inhabitant’? Or, using the terms of Hamustra, the one who brought you here, do you consider me a ‘character’?”
[The silver-plated heart, to you—]
“I’m—”
I could barely speak.
“I’m… No, I am. That is, my original master is the Lady of the Golden Silk.” [3]
[The immersion toward the character is deepened.]
[Currently, your immersion rate is 30%.]
“I am only attending to Your Ladyship just briefly, so…”
“You’re saying something strange again.”
The Lady of the Silver Lily looked at me.
“You said you only thought about me today. In other words, didn’t you have no thoughts of the Lady of the Golden Silk?”
“That’s…”
“Was it a lie?”
[The silver-plated heart—]
“No, it wasn’t a lie. I am—”
My head.
My breath.
“If so, then isn’t your master already me, not her?”
“That’s…”
“Call me master.”
Her hand held mine a little tighter.
“Just once is enough. Call me, with all your sincerity.”
“And, if you call me ‘Master,’ I’ll give you a prize.”
A prize.
“I promise you a delectable reward.”
Why was it that the moment I heard her words, my heart was filled with honey?
Without realizing it, I had opened my mouth, but someone called out to me before I could say anything.
-Gongja.
A low voice.
[Shiny is shaking to bring back the warrior’s senses.]
A Constellation’s warning.
The reaction of these two, this languid addiction I felt, all made me feel some déjà vu.
It was the same sensation I felt in the basement, when the Lady of the Silver Lily interrogated her servants.
This intuition that it was dangerous.
“Hmm?”
The Lady of the Silver Lily looked at me. Her red eyes, her expressionless face, placidly looked at me.
“What’s wrong?”
Whisper.
“Don’t you need the prize?”
The prize.
“You just need to say it once.”
Just one time…
If it was just once, wouldn’t it be all right? To test it out?
I did feel the danger, but if something went wrong, I had the power to turn back time. That’s right… I have that sort of power. So it wasn’t wrong to say that I also had the power to take risks. If you thought about it, this might have been the right thing to do. Wasn’t it important to know what would happen if that word came from my mouth? Wasn’t this somewhat similar to when there was the traitor among the Rankers when we first dealt with the Devil King of Fall Rain?
So, wouldn’t it be okay? Saying just one word. If things went wrong, I just had to turn back time. It would end just like that since I had that ability.
Then, just once, at least once, I could…
「But you know that I’m the Flame Emperor.」
「That’s why you have to die for me.」
The back of my neck turned cold.
「Death King-nim.」
「I still believe in you.」
My fingertips froze.
「Milord.」
My head, it—
「You are my disciple.」
Returned to its senses.
The sight before me cleared up. My resolve steeled. My thoughts returned to me quickly, as if trying to reinforce against what had nearly happened.
Was I a person to obey someone easily?
Was the weight on my shoulder that light?
No.
I am Preta’s lord.
And the Young Master of the Demonic Sect.
I have lived so I would not become like Yoo Sooha.
Thus, I ran away with the Alchemist in the snowfield, so I would not take a single death for granted.
“…I apologize, milady.”
I put my palm on the back of the Lady of the Silver Lily’s hand. Though it was only a word.
Because it was only a word.
“Why are you apologizing?”
“I cannot recognize you as my true master.”
I wanted to learn the joy of love. I was learning it. But even then, I didn’t want to learn to the extent that I lost myself. At least, not for a one-sided relationship.
“If you really want to win my heart, milady will have to use a different method.”
“Say it. I’ll listen.”
“I will serve you as my master, so please make me your master.”
“……”
“I will value your judgment over mine. I will weigh your advice heavier than my principles. I will not value myself the most. I will follow you. But in return.”
I looked at the lady’s face. With our hands clasped together, the distance between us was very short. Her red eyes. I knew them to be the same color as her heart.
“Please treat me the same way.”
“……”
“If you do something wrong, I’ll tell you that it was wrong. What I really think, what I see, what I feel. I’ll confess everything to you without a single lie. However, it cannot be one-sided. If I give you my heart, how shall I breathe? I’ll end up choking and dying. Only if you give me your heart will I be able to live.”
I gripped the Lady of the Silver Lily’s hand a little more strongly.
“If you want to see me go mad, please go mad with me.”
Then, the Lady of the Silver Lily shook off my hand. She took two steps back like someone who was dealt an unexpected blow.
“…Indeed.”
However, her poker face had not yet collapsed.
“You’re different from the other half-baked apostles. I thought you were a docile child… But being unfamiliar with love does not mean you are unfamiliar to life. I was in too much of a hurry.”
“You tried to tempt me to become your subordinate, right?”
“It was my mistake. I thought you were easy.”
The Lady of the Silver Lily bit her lips for a moment. Even her face was beautiful and terrifying. In the hallway at night, the white moonlight that shined on her became a shadow.
“Yes, I’m not an easy man to win.”
“It’s a shame. It would have been comfortable if you dedicated everything to me.”
“You said that understanding is no different than taking responsibility. One-sided responsibility is only one-sided understanding. I didn’t come to Your Ladyship because I wanted something like that.”
My heart was pounding, but I endured it.
“So, what is the secret you planned to tell me?”
“……”
The Lady of the Silver Lily turned around and began to walk.
“…There is a heirloom in my family that has been passed down from long ago. It is a sword with a laughable legend attached to it. If you make a wish, the sword will surely make it come true.”
At the end of the hallway.
Curtains were placed where even the moonlight could not reach. The curtains were thick and red, and they seemed to be covering something.
“However, there are conditions.”
The Lady of the Silver Lily grabbed the tail of the curtain. With a whoosh, the curtains were pulled aside. Beyond the veil, there was a full-length mirror that looked like it belonged in a dressing room.
And.
“When you make your wish, you must stab your heart with the sword.”
A sword was embedded in the center of the mirror.
The Lady of the Silver Lily stood before the mirror.
Coincidentally, the heart of the lady was reflected over where the blade was stuck.
[Shiny detects the presence of her sister.]
The Holy Sword by my waist trembled.
[Shiny says that this is the Guardian Sword’s third sister.]
Drip. Drip.
Blood came out of the mirror from the sword, drop by drop. The curtains that had been hiding the mirror weren’t originally red. It was the blood from the heart of the mirror that had stained them so.
[It is the Sword of Prayer.]
“Back when I was not yet a regressor, His Majesty the Prince became infatuated with the Lady of the Golden Silk. I was resentful, and I made a wish to my family’s sword.”
“What was your wish…?”
The Lady of the Silver Lily’s lips moved.
-Please let my love last forever.
“Then, my life became eternal.”
“Even if I die, I do not die. My feelings for His Majesty also remain unchanged. My heart has become immovable since that day.”
The Lady of the Silver Lily took my hand.
She grabbed my hand and led it to her chest.
Where her heart was. Where it should have been.
“Did you say you wanted my heart?”
But.
I couldn’t feel a heartbeat there.
“I’m sorry,” said the Lady of the Silver Lily. “I have no heart to give you.”
[The silver-plated heart is looking at you.]
And the blood flowing from the mirror gathered and began to form a small shape.
The size was different, but it was definitely the thing that killed the Crusader and the Count last time.
It was the shape of a demon.
I didn’t know why the blood from the mirror made that shape, whether it had been summoned or created.
“Now.”
However, the Lady of the Silver Lily raised the sword like she was used to it.
“Help me.”
The sword was pointed at the little demon.
“It’s time to take care of today’s tasks.”
~~~
[1]: Might be a good time to remember that Gongja’s name = Confucius in Korean.
[2]: 발 is foot (or step, in this case), and 씨발 = fuck
[3]: Here, Gongja switches from a more casual “I” to a more formal/respectful “I.”