When Haruko fell asleep, I didn’t leave immediately. For 10 minutes, I watched her sleep peacefully. She had a smile on her face and she kept mumbling my name. Whatever she was dreaming, I was there.
As I thought, I couldn’t afford to lose them again. I want to satisfy all of them so they wouldn’t be able to think about leaving me. The purpose of opening the option to leave was to let them feel that I’m not taking away their freedom to choose. And if ever someone opts out, I will surely be hurt by it. It just meant that I failed to satisfy her.
Err but I already took away that option for Haruko and Yae. Like Akane, they’re the ones I don’t really want to lose, no matter what. This might be my possessiveness again and it now encroached the three of them.
After leaving the room, I went downstairs first to see if Miwa-nee is there, and surprisingly she’s nowhere to be seen. Not even an empty bottle. She didn’t leave their room after going upstairs earlier.
Should I check their room?
Of course, I should. Let’s assume she also wanted to talk to me.
Taking my feet to their room, I was hindered by the door. It’s locked and it’s a bit rude to knock on it when it’s already this deep in the night.
Miwa-nee was probably already asleep.
I’ll be with Akane for the whole day tomorrow and we’ll only be back in the morning the next day. Should I wait until Sunday to talk to her?
I spent the next 15 minutes mulling over that thought. Only when the drowsiness took over me that I decided to not wait until Sunday. There might be a possibility that tomorrow will be the day her husband will come here and pick them both up. I need to know now so I can feel at ease at my date with Akane tomorrow.
Putting my hand on the door, I knocked at it while calling out Miwa-nee’s name.
What should I say to her, anyway? That I heard from Akane that she got a call earlier and I was wondering what was that about?
Haa. Or should I straight up ask her about the reason why she left home?
Miwa-nee purposely did not mention it because I’m still a kid in her eyes and that I couldn’t really help her.
And it’s probably true. But I won’t stay as a kid forever, I will grow up, we will grow up and we will be exposed to that adult world Aunt Akemi, Shio and Miwa-nee was talking about.
It took me about 10 knocks before I heard activity inside and footsteps going to the door. A short while later, the door opened with Miwa-nee still half-asleep.
“R-ruki? What is it? It’s still the dead of the night.”
She started, there’s nothing wrong with her voice nor her question. Did something really happen?
“I came to see Miwa-nee. We haven’t had a proper talk since that night.”
In the end, this is the reason I can come up with. But it’s true, after that night, we did have a certain connection now but we haven’t talked about the important things.
Like what will happen between us now or does it mean she also loves me? I don’t know and Miwa-nee never voiced it out.
“This brat. That could wait, right?”
Putting a hand on her forehead, Miwa-nee expressed dissatisfaction.
“No. I…”
Why am I stuttering? Am I actually afraid to tell her that I want to know everything?
My gaze traveled from Miwa-nee to the boy sleeping soundly on his bed.
Ah. Right. That’s what was making me afraid. I became too conscious of Minoru.
“Huh? What?”
Miwa-nee was starting to frown. Her half-sleep state was removed. I woke her up but here I am hesitating.
Haa. I should stop doing this and come clean to why am I here.
“I heard from Akane, you got a phone call earlier.”
When she heard what I said, Miwa-nee’s expression turned from a frown to a gloomy one. It was only for a split second and she shook her head immediately.
“It’s nothing, you don’t have to concern yourself over it.”
Miwa-nee averted her gaze from me as she whispered those words. In the end, she still doesn’t want to tell me.
“Can I be honest with you, Miwa-nee?”
This is the last resort. I’ll tell her everything I am worried about. If it’s still not enough for her to talk about her own problem then that’s my loss…
I stepped closer to her and reached for her hand which was balled into a fist. This happened when I mentioned the phone call.
I didn’t let go of her hand and held onto it until she somehow calmed down.
“Haa. Alright. Come in first. I don’t want us to keep talking by the door.”
Sighing in resignation, Miwa-nee invited me in. I didn’t miss that opportunity to hug her. She was surprised at first but in the end, she let me hug her as the door closed behind me.
“Coming here at this time. What are you thinking?”
The volume of her voice lowered in consideration for the sleeping boy. I feel sorry for him but I really love his mom and I want to share her worries, even if there’s nothing I can do yet.
“I’ll be with Akane tomorrow and we’ll be back by Sunday morning. I’m just afraid that during that time, you’ll leave and I won’t see you again.”
I could feel her tremble a bit upon hearing what I said, then Miwa-nee turned around and patted my head.
“We won’t leave, Ruki. This much, I can tell you. But more than that, don’t ask me yet.”
She lifted my chin and stared at me. Our lips were only a few centimetres apart. The words she said about them not leaving, is it fine to believe it?
“Why can’t I ask about it? Miwa-nee, I want to hear what’s troubling you and share your worries.”
I’m probably reaching too far here. But I can’t think of anything else.
“No. I don’t want to drag you into it. You let me remember my buried feelings for you and that just further heightened this sense of responsibility I’m feeling.”
Miwa-nee shook her head and moved her gaze away from me like she’s afraid I’ll pick up something from her eyes.
“Why? Does it concern me?”
Sense of responsibility… Is it really about Minoru? I really won’t know if she won’t tell me. And I don’t want to assume things. Should I really wait until she decided to tell me?
“Ruki, please? I’ll tell you when it’s all over.”
Miwa-nee turned her gaze back to me and with pleading eyes and tone, she begged me.
“Is it because I’m still a kid in your eyes?”
I asked her back and the answer she gave me was as I expected.
“Yes. It’s like that. I don’t want to burden you by telling you that. Just grow up and in due time, I’ll tell you everything.”
Nodding her head, Miwa-nee hugged me back. My face was immediately buried in her voluptuous chest. Normally I would enjoy this sensation but after not getting the answer I want, I was frustrated instead.
“Why am I not satisfied with this answer?”
Now, this is just me pressing the issue but Miwa-nee calmly answered me. She’s adamant about her decision.
“Because you’re stubborn. Ruki, I love you, okay? For now, let me protect you from any unnecessary worries.”
Hearing ‘I love you’ from her should make me happy but her next words just really hit me too hard.
I’m the one being protected and not the other way around.
“Miwa-nee, you’re being unfair.”
“Maybe I am. And I won’t say this is only for you. Alright. You can go back now.”
Releasing me from her arms, Miwa-nee started walking back to their bed. Minoru was still sleeping there. That boy…
“Am I really no good?”
Now I’m just repeating everything. No matter what I say, Miwa-nee won’t tell me. Should I just make her drunk and ask her during it?
But if I did, she’ll surely be disappointed in me. It will be like I forced her.
“You’re more than good but you see, it’s not something we can solve just by sitting and talking it out. So as much as possible, I don’t want you to know.”
But I already have an idea. I somehow already knew about it.
Miwa-nee, her gaze was alternating between Minoru and me. As much as I don’t want to believe it yet, her words, even if it’s vague, it all points in that direction.
“When will you tell me?”
Giving up, I could only sigh and turn to the door while throwing this last question that meant giving up on making her talk.
“When everything’s over.”
I stopped my tracks and looked back at her, Miwa-nee also stopped and just stared at me after saying that.
“Miwa-nee, I love you. Even if you tell me that, I will probably keep asking you, maybe not tomorrow or the next, but it will happen. I just can’t stand seeing you shouldering all of that.” 𝗼𝐯𝗹．𝐞𝘁
I’m planning for our future but this, this just proved that I’m still far from accomplishing anything. I might’ve been good at coaxing girls at my age but that’s all there is to it. Miwa-nee couldn’t even tell me her worries because she wanted to protect me.
What should I really do? It’s not like I can stop and focus on making Miwa-nee acknowledge me. I know that my thinking is flawed. I’m loving a lot of girls and sacrificing everyone for only one is something I cannot do. Not at this point. Should I really just accept this and wait?
“I know but this is my choice, Ruki.”
Right. Miwa-nee’s choice.
Even if I’m feeling indignation about this, there’s really nothing that I can do.
Turning around again. I continue traversing the last few steps to the door to leave their room.
But before I can reach for the doorknob. Miwa-nee came running and hugged me from the back, I could feel my shoulder turning wet. Tears. Miwa-nee is crying.
“Can you stay for a bit?”
She asked.
“If it’s for Miwa-nee then I can.”
Right, for now, this is all I can do for her.
I turned around and reached my hand to her face, after wiping her tears away, I took her lips into mine. She didn’t reject it and instead, she responded to it.
We left the room right after to not disturb the sleeping Minoru, settling on one of the empty rooms. Our inhibitions were released and from there everything naturally happened. I’ve just thought of putting restraint earlier but this one time, I couldn’t pass up on this. After all, time with Miwa-nee were always this short.
I really love this aunt of mine and I’m sure she’s feeling the same towards me. I can’t do anything for her yet, but I’ll make sure there will come a day when I can carry her burden for her. Well, not only for her but for everyone else.