“I-I can’t move yet.”
“The nurse said to let you rest here. Don’t mind the remaining class.”
She flinched but she had trouble speaking what’s on her mind. This is her flaw.
“B-but.”
“What is it? If you don’t tell me what you’re thinking then there’s no way I can understand you.”
Another flinch and she reached for the sleeves of my uniform.
“S-stay here. I’m scared to be alone.”
“I see. Alright. Look how easy it is to say what’s on your mind.”
I sat back at the chair beside her bed. This is too troublesome but I can’t just leave her when she’s like that. She might force herself to go to her class, and of course I will be blamed for letting her. Tsk.
If only Satsuki or Nami was the one on that bed, I would be delighted to share the bed with either of them.
“But it’s easier and dependable to rely on those knowledge.”
“Look, it’s not bad to rely on it but if you based your life on only what you read, isn’t that boring?”
She took in what I said and contemplated about it. Her hand was still on my sleeve.
Is she afraid I will stand to leave again?
“Why is it boring? Isn’t it practical?”
“Look, let’s see. Let’s talk about your romance, do you like anyone?”
She shook her head as an answer.
“I’m busy and have no time for liking anyone.”
“Then have you been confessed to before?”
Fujii stopped and contemplated again. Maybe searching her memory if there’s an occurrence like that.
“Y-yes. Someone told me he likes me and wants to date me.”
“What was your answer?”
Dating someone isn’t always based on that emotion called love that I’m still in the process of learning. It could start with anything, like having something in common, boosting one’s own ego, lust for the other, etc. There are too many factors.
But this girl, I bet she didn’t think about the other person but only of her own knowledge about that subject. Even her feelings weren’t considered.
“We’re still young. I’ve read that there’s only a small chance that dating while still in school will lead to marriage. I don’t need that unreliable thing.”
“Look at you, basing everything on your knowledge again.”
“But that’s the ideal way! Emotions are just unstable. I can’t rely on that.”
“Then how many of them have you rejected already?”
Why am I discussing this with her? Am I this bored? Haa. But this girl looks so hopeless. Sooner or later she will trip on this path she’s treading.
Just like me and my desire. Eh?
Ah.
This is why I have this patience to discuss this with her.
If I haven’t realized those things, it would probably end with my own destruction like Akane said before. And it won’t just end with my destruction, everyone connected to me will suffer. Even my parents.
I should thank Akane, Yae and Satsuki again. And those girls who stayed. I changed but that doesn’t mean there won’t be problems in the future. But since we’re at present, I have to focus here first.
“I can’t remember. I already stopped responding after five.”
“Why did you stop?”
“Because my answer will just be the same.”
“This girl, you’re hopeless. You need to change that personality of yours that only relies on the knowledge you’ve read.”
When my words registered on her mind, she got confused. But yeah, it didn’t affect her at all. And her eyes were back to glaring at me.
Ah. Shit. I suddenly felt my desire ignite for this girl. What is this? Is this because of how she always rejected those guys who wanted to date her? Maybe?
I can’t deny this desire again. I want to steal Fujii for myself now.
I could stop like I stopped that thought of stealing Akane’s mom.
But this girl. I want to help her.
Do I want her to be mine? My desire is acting up so yes, I want to steal her for myself.
“Don’t judge me…”
“I’m just stating the truth.”
“Then prove it.”
“Let’s see. What do you think about your friends?”
I’ll let her start thinking for herself. Eventually, she’ll learn to think before she relies on her knowledge.
Yeah. I guess wanting to steal her necessitates for me to solve this thing for her. I can’t just leave her to continue living her life like this.
“What do I think about them? I don’t know. They’re kind to me.”
“Kind? That’s the only thing you think of them? Then what about your knowledge? What does it tell you about them?”
“They’re a good kind of friend. Even if they only use me to feel better with themselves.”
“What the hell is that? That’s not a friend.”
Ah. I’m not one to talk about friends. I’m used to betraying a friend. I befriended the Vice President to get close to Haruko. Hell, I even befriended that cowardly boyfriend of Yae before to have a reason to meet her. And now there’s Sakuma.
But yeah, this girl. Even her definition of friend is based on her knowledge.
“Don’t talk about them like that. I may be like this but they didn’t do anything bad.”
“I see. I’m sorry. Let me change the question then. What do you think about me? Remember, don’t base it on your knowledge. Think.”
“What do I think about you? You’re scary but kind. The way you confront me about how I use my knowledge instead of my mind, I think it’s scary. But I feel that you’re doing this for me.”
“I see. Scary and kind. Maybe. Then next, base it on your knowledge. What does your knowledge have to say about me?”
She fell into thinking again. This girl. It looks like it will be hard to completely change her. But is this right? Do I have the right to change her?
“Pervert. A strong man. Reliable. A mystery.”
“Mystery?”
“You don’t have a motive to do this. We’re not close. In fact we only met twice and this is the first time I’m talking with you.”
“Ah you’re right. Do I come off as forceful? But you know, I suddenly grew a motive.”
Fujii took the juice she put down earlier and drank the remaining half she left behind. Her throat probably dried up from all of this.
“Not as forceful. You just want me to think, right? What motive?”
“Yes. Your way of dealing with things based on your knowledge alone was flawed from the start. I’ll tell you my motive later after our talk.”
“Alright. What do you mean flawed from the start? Isn’t this the best way?”
“You’re like a machine, a computer to be exact. I heard you running away from the Book club. You saw those 6 members, right?”
“Yes. They’re scary. The way they only focus on reading.”
This girl. She saw herself in those 6. That’s why she got scared. But she didn’t realize it.
“You’re like them, you know?”
“What? I’m not like them!”
“Ah yes. There’s a few differences in you but basically you’re almost the same. They keep reading to expand their knowledge, but I don’t know what’s their end goal, maybe none. While you keep expanding your knowledge and then use that to live your life.”
“That… Am I really like them?”
I took her hand that was still on my sleeve and held it with mine.
We still have time before the classes end. I at least want to progress with this girl. To slightly change her mindset.
“I’m holding your hand. Tell me what you think and what your knowledge says.”
“I am wondering why you hold my hand. My knowledge told me you’re really a pervert. Doing this suddenly. This is called taking advantage.”
“Then you, being scared to be alone, was that what you thought?”
“Y-yes. I see. Even if I rely on my knowledge, there are always instances when I will think first and prioritize it.”
Ah. She understood? What the hell? Did I just take the long way? Err no, she wouldn’t think about that if I started with why was she scared to be alone. She’ll make an excuse about it with her knowledge.
“Correct. You need to think sometimes. In fact humans are like that. We were born with the ability to think deeper than any animals. You are only relying on your knowledge, that’s really a machine-like behaviour. Are you a machine?”
“N-no, I’m a human but–”
“Stop with the buts. Think first.”
“You’re really a mystery. Uhm…”
“Ah. You don’t know my name, in fact you didn’t think about asking me that. Now. What do you think?”
We’re talking this long and only now did she realize that she doesn’t know my name. This girl…
“W-what’s your name?”
“Onoda Ruki, nice to meet you. Fujii Mirae.”
Hearing that, she laughed. It’s a cheerful laugh and in fact I didn’t know she could laugh like that.
“You’re weird. Thank you Onoda.”
“No need to thank me, I told you, I have a motive for doing this.”
“Right. What is that motive?”
“I want to steal you.”
Fujii, after hearing that, stared at me dumbfounded. Probably, she’s processing what I said and what ‘to steal her’ means.
I tightened my grip on her hand and that took her back to reality.
“Steal me? What are you? I don’t recall anything about that on my knowledge and thinking about that resulted in nothing.”
“I see, you need details. I want to steal you from the guys who might still want to date you or maybe to your future husband? To put it simple, I want Fujii to be mine.”
“E-eh? You… Why so suddenly? I don’t understand.”
“Let me help you understand.”
I stood up and sat on the side of her bed. She was stuck there but her gaze was on me. My hand that was holding her hand readjusted itself, crossing our fingers together.
And I slowly lean my face towards her.
Her mind was confused. She’s probably searching her knowledge again about this situation. And when she can’t find any, she thinks with her mind.
“W-wait. Onoda. What are you doing?”
“I’m going to kiss you Fujii.”
“E-eh? You can’t do that. I decided that I will only kiss at the day of my wedding.”
“But I want to kiss you. I told you, I will make you understand.”
Understanding what’s about to happen, her face for the first time since our talk finally turned red. Her blush further accentuates her attractiveness.
Ah. This girl. My desire has been running since earlier. And I really want her. But yeah. I’m forceful right now. Will she really understand it? Haa. I can’t stop my desire.