Kyle started to descend the hill.
He had no idea where he was, but there was no reason to just stay here.
“Fucking!” Kyle shouted as he stepped on something that immediately slid away, making him almost fall over.
He heard the thing he stepped on roll down the hill for a little while before stopping.
“Seriously?” he shouted in annoyance. “I just fucking got here, and I almost immediately ate shit!”
“Fucking hikers,” he mumbled as he walked to the thing he stepped on. “Masochists, I tell you! Why do people do this voluntarily?”
Kyle reached the thing and looked at it.
“Huh,” he said. “No wonder it didn’t feel like a stone.”
Kyle grabbed the grey object and moved it around in his hands.
“It’s a helmet,” he muttered.
Sure enough, Kyle held a grey helmet made of metal in his hand.
It was dirty, rusty, bent, and it had a hole near its right side.
“Guess somebody got an arrow to the head,” Kyle commented as he looked at the hole.
Kyle just looked at the helmet for a while.
Looking at it felt… strange.
Someone died here.
That was… weird.
“Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to accept the job,” Kyle mumbled. “I don’t really want to die, you know?”
Kyle just scratched the back of his head.
Then, he looked around.
“You know, in games, something is always constantly happening, and you can just quick travel to any place of interest,” he mumbled to himself as he looked at the endless forest around the hill.
“But this is real.”
As Kyle looked at the forest, he was overcome by a sense of regret.
‘This entire idea sounds great on paper, but right now, this is no different from literally getting dropped in any random forest in America.’
‘People think, oh great, I get to go to a funny fantasy land, but I haven’t seen any of that yet. As far as I know, I’ve just been dumped in a random place in the US.’
‘Getting dropped in a forest in a fantasy land? Sign me up! Getting dropped in a forest in the US? No, thank you.’
‘And yet, it’s the same fucking thing. I gotta look for food, water, warmth, and shelter. At least, that’s what all the survivalist YouTube videos told me to do, and I guess it makes sense.’
Kyle pulled a survival knife out of his jeans pocket.
He wasn’t allowed to take anything with him except for his clothing and stuff that fit in his pocket.
Originally, he had an entire backpack with survival gear with him, but the magic lady said no.
The reason?
‘You don’t need that,’ Kyle grumbled.
Kyle shook his head to regain his bearings.
“Who cares? No point in crying over spilled milk!”
Then, he grabbed the helmet and pulled it over his head.
“Armor time,” he said to himself. “Wonder if there’s more.”
Kyle decided to look around the hill some more to look for equipment.
And after some minutes…
“Oh?” Kyle uttered as he saw something mildly shining lying on the ground.
‘Is that a gem?’ Kyle thought as he looked at it.
He tried to pull the gem out, but he could tell that it was attached to something buried beneath it.
‘More loot!’ Kyle thought as he grabbed his survival knife to move the earth to the side.
‘It’s attached to a long piece of metal. Don’t tell me this is a sword!’ Kyle thought with excitement.
He put his hand around the long piece of metal and pulled.
The earth gave way, and Kyle pulled something out.
It was a ten-centimeter-long metal stick with a dull gem at its head.
However, there was something attached to it.
Kyle’s expression turned into a mix of surprise and disgust.
There was a skeletal hand attached to the metal stick.
“Ew,” Kyle uttered as he looked at the skeletal hand that had basically grown onto the metallic stick.
The only things Kyle felt were surprise and disgust.
“That’s disgusting, dude,” Kyle said as he pulled the sticky skeleton hand off the metallic stick.
After pulling the hand off, Kyle unceremoniously threw it over his shoulder and inspected the metallic stick.
It was just a stick with a gem at the end.
“You know, when somebody says that someone has a stick up their ass, that’s the kind of stick I would imagine. I mean, having a stick up your ass basically means you’re pompous, right? So, wouldn’t you put jewelry and ornaments on that stick you shove up your ass? Makes sense, right?” Kyle kept commenting to no one in particular.
“Either this is a rich person’s dildo or some kind of magic wand. By the way the skeleton was desperately grasping the thing, I would think it’s a dildo, but logic tells me that it’s a magic wand.”
“Fucking magic wands. Sounds ridiculous if I say it out loud,” Kyle grumbled. “Feel like I’m a fat larper wearing skinny elf clothes.”
Kyle cleaned the metallic stick by rolling it through some grass before pointing it at the foot of the hill.
Nothing happened.
Except…
“Fuck!” Kyle said as he pulled the metal stick away from his arm.
A light bit of blood was flowing out of his wrist, and he looked more closely at the metal stick.
While one end had the gem, the other side narrowed into a spiky tip.
When he pointed the stick at the foot of the hill, he accidentally put the sharp tip on his wrist.
‘When did I get my last tetanus shot?’ Kyle thought as he looked at his dirty and slightly bloody wrist.
‘Wait, magic lady said that diseases are like a thing specifically on Earth, right? Do I still need to worry about tetanus?’
‘Probably not.’
Kyle looked at the sharp tip a bit more and lightly moved his thumb over it…
Which also promptly started bleeding.
“The fuck?” Kyle said. “How fucking sharp is that thing?!”
Suddenly, Kyle got an idea.
He took out his survival knife and poked it with the metal stick.
The sound of metal getting scratched assaulted Kyle’s ears.
It was quite loud.
When Kyle saw the result, he blinked a couple of times in surprise.
While the new cut in the knife’s blade wasn’t deep, it was definitely noticeable.
Then, Kyle struck the metal rod with the edge of the knife.
BANG!
Nothing happened.
The metal stick still looked great.
Kyle looked at his survival knife with furrowed brows.
‘This thing cost 200 bucks! I don’t think I got scammed.’
“Huh,” Kyle commented. “Guess that’s what she meant with I don’t need anything.”
‘Most likely, everything I can get from Earth is shit here.’
‘Ooooor,’ Kyle thought as he looked at the place where the metal stick had been.
‘This corpse is just loaded.’
“Body, you’re my buddy, right?” Kyle said with a sweet smile. “You won’t mind me looking through your stuff real quick, right?”
And Kyle started digging.
