“Noel, I’m sorry.”
“Eh?” Noel widened his eyes in shock. 𝘰𝑣𝘭.𝗇𝓔t
This was what Anna had been wanting to say this whole time. Whenever she had the opportunity to say this, Noel would find an excuse to leave her or shut her up. But this time, Noel was too confused to do the usual action, allowing her to finally say this one word.
‘Sorry.’ After Anna changed for the better, she hadn’t apologized for a single time to Noel. And this apology was directed to her past action.
Anna closed her eyes and explained, “Even though when I brought the topic to my father, I realized that my father and the royal family had decided on your family’s outcome, there’s no denying that I asked my father to have your entire family get executed.
“At first, I thought that you should be eliminated because your family might rise again and take revenge. Even I don’t understand why my father and the royal family decided to spare your life, but…
“After knowing you and observing you up close, I know that you didn’t deserve any of that. Your light helped other people and will surely continue helping others…
“So, I owe you an apology.” While still holding her head low, she took a deep breath and said with everything in her heart. “Noel, I’m sorry.”
Noel froze. He was already aware that Anna had changed. So, he had been avoiding her to make sure that his determination to take revenge didn’t falter. But to think that Anna took this opportunity to finally apologize to him, it gave complicated feelings to Noel’s heart.
On the one hand, Noel thought to himself.
‘If a murderer got caught and sentenced to twenty years in prison, how do people react to this man? What if the murderer has actually changed himself for the better and get prepared to turn over a new leaf? He has admitted his mistakes and wants to atone his sins for the rest of his life by becoming a good person.
‘Will others accept him? Or will others stay away from him? If it’s the former, can others actually put down their grudge to this person? Can they provide him with a job?
‘What if they can’t accept him back? He won’t be able to get any job and even another person in his life? What does he needs to do if he wants to eat? Stealing? Then, the murderer will become a thief. Even though he wants to become a good person, the other forces him to become a bad guy once again.’
With this kind of thought, Noel hesitated to see whether he could forgive Anna or not.
Just like the murderer, Anna might truly want to become a genuinely good person that would help him in the future to atone her sins. If he couldn’t put his grudge down and make her suffer, wouldn’t it mean he was the one who forced her to fall into that path once again?
The vicious cycle would continue until one of them died.
On the other hand, Noel still couldn’t accept this apology because the grudge in his heart was still too strong. What the Stargaze Family and the Royal Family had done were simply too much for him. There was no way he could forgive them… at least for a long time.
Noel bit his lips because he was in a dilemma. He was stressed because he couldn’t decide.
Noel gritted his teeth and rushed to her, choking her neck.
“Kh.” Anna didn’t put any resistance. Her eyebrows were twitching because she was enduring the pain. Gritting her teeth, she only looked at Noel helplessly.
“If you have done something like that, why do you even need to apologize? Don’t apologize!” Noel shouted as his hand started shaking. The grip became weaker as time passed. Noel added inwardly, ‘If you don’t apologize, it’ll make my job easier. I know that I need to kill you. Why do you need to change?’
“I need to apologize to you. And I’ll do it no matter what it takes.” Anna answered. She was gasping for air.
“If you want to atone for your sins, then kill yourself!” Noel shouted back, not accepting that apology.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t die here.” Anna gritted her teeth. “I still have many things to do, including atoning that sin. By continuing to live, I can do much more to atone that sin.”
Noel gritted his teeth. He knew that giving a person chance to atone that sin was more reasonable because that person could do much more by giving kindness to other people. And that kindness could give birth to another kindness.
‘Why would you forgive the ones who killed your parents?’
‘You should kill them like how they killed your parents and destroyed your family.’
‘The only reason you are suffering like this is them!’
‘You are a fool.’
The hatred kept crawling back into his heart. But Noel had changed in the past few months he was here. The kindness to other people had also grown to him, so those thoughts also flashed in his mind.
‘If you don’t give her the chance, how do you know she hasn’t changed?’
‘If you don’t give her the chance to atone her sin, she won’t be able to change.’
‘You are a kind person.’
Noel’s mind was in a mess because of all these thoughts. He tried to shake it off but to no avail.
Ultimately, Noel let her neck go and walked away without saying anything. It was clear that he had yet to be prepared to give the answer to her apology.
Anna could only look at his back while biting her lips.
Noel was walking through the forest as the good and evil thoughts kept ringing in his mind.
‘You fool, you have to kill her, destroy her family, and make her fall into despair.’
‘The world will change depending on how you see it. Do you want to live in a world where kindness and forgiveness are considered a weakness? You surely don’t.’
Noel gasped for air as he used the tree next to him to support his body. He slammed his fist to the tree while gritting his teeth. “Damn it.”