Chapter 201 "I Want to Travel Through Time" On the Internet, Dongqiang was praising Qilong, but soon Qilong received a WeChat message from Dongqiang, asking him to make some cold powder and complaining that he was irresponsible. There will be a special show the next day, so you don’t have to worry about catching a cold when you go splash water. Seeing his partner's concern, Qi Long replied, telling him not to worry, that he knew what was going on. He said he knew the situation, but in fact his phone had a cheat. Among the props he drew, there was medicine that could keep him from catching a cold after taking it for a week. It was the product of a cheat! This is also the reason why Qi Long dared to go to the Water Splashing Festival the day before the special performance. Of course, his girlfriend didn't have any cheats, so he had already prepared some powder to prevent colds, a deerskin towel to quickly wipe off water, and clean clothes, and arranged for her to take a quick shower after playing. The girl from Northeast China is very resistant to cold, so the two of them had no health problems the next day. They strolled around Chang'an City and then rushed to the special performance. This is the third special performance of Qi Long and Dong Qiang. Coming to this ancient capital with rich history and culture, it is natural for them to perform a crosstalk about history. The two decided to perform Guo Degang and Yu Qian's classic crosstalk "I Want to Travel Through Time". Of course, in terms of content, the excellent parts of Guo Degang and Yu Qian's crosstalk are retained, and some new gags and jokes are added.
The first to open the show for them were Shang Jiuxi and He Jiuhua. After Qi Long's guidance, the two brothers successfully magnified their own characteristics. Shang Jiuxi has incorporated many performance styles of Errenzhuan into crosstalk, earning him the title of "Errenzhuan exchange student" and becoming more and more popular with the audience. Their lively performance style gave the special show a good start. The next show was between Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang. Zhang Wanyi, as the announcer, appeared in the blue and white porcelain cheongsam Qi Long gave her. She said, "Please enjoy the crosstalk I Want to Travel Through Time, performed by Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang!" "Great!" The audience cheered towards them like thunder. Qi Long and Dong Qiang came on stage. Qi Long looked at the side curtain of the host leaving the stage and turned back and said proudly, "Does the host look good?" The audience shouted: "Great!" Gao Dongqiang at the table bowed immediately: "Thank you everyone!" The audience laughed immediately. Everyone knew that she was Qi Long’s girlfriend, so what was going on with Dong Qiang and Xie? Qi Long said "Hmm?" and turned his head: "What does it have to do with you?" "How come praising the host we invited for our special show has nothing to do with me?" Dong Qiang asked back. Qi Long suddenly realized: "No, it's not you who invited her, it was me who invited her. She asked me to accompany her to the Water Splashing Festival, and she would be the announcer!" "Oh, so you two went to the Songkran Festival yesterday!" Qi Long sighed: "Yeah, I really regret it. A group of people poured water on me." “Is that a blessing?” "Pouring boiling water as a blessing?" Qi Long asked back, making the audience burst into laughter. “And there are people pouring boiling water?” "Of course not. I arrested him and interrogated him on the spot. Who sent you? He said it was Gao Dongqiang!" "I?"
"They have provided evidence, so don't try to deny it. Show me your chat history. You said that we were going to have a private session the next day, and you were afraid that I would catch a cold, so you hired him to make me drink more hot water. The result was that as soon as I opened my mouth, the boiling water poured over me, gulping. "Wow, this guy really does the job when he's paid!" Qi Long made a "gulp gulp" sound, threw out the door-opening bag, and then started talking about traveling. "I personally have little interest in traveling. Dongqiang is more interested in traveling. People like me who have escaped from vulgar interests have no interest in traveling!" The audience responded with "ouch!" Dong Qiang also asked: "If you want to get rid of vulgar interests, then I want to hear how advanced your hobbies are?" "That's too advanced. I studied the local dialect of our Shaanxi Province. The Shaanxi dialect is not simple. It used to be ancient Mandarin." Dong Qiang glanced at the audience and said, "If you say so, I really don't dare to say that you are low-level. After all, you are in Chang'an. What have you researched?" "There are so many. Here, the head is called 'sa', the pants are called 'feng', the shoes are called 'hai', and cotton shoes have their own names!" "what is it call?" "Wowo!" Dong Qiang pretended not to understand and asked everyone: "Is this true or false?" A local from Chang'an immediately responded that it was true. "Oh, you really have some research to do?" "No, I've studied it in depth. A glance is not a glance, it's a stare. A buttock is called a hook." "No need for introduction." Dongqiang quickly grabbed him. The audience felt very involved when they heard the familiar hometown dialect added to the crosstalk. Qi Long: "After my research, I found that you can't speak Shaanxi dialect casually, it's easy to get beaten!" "You get beaten for speaking?" "Yes, for example, it's winter and you want to buy a pair of cotton shoes. There's a girl standing in front of the cotton shoes. You say in Mandarin: Girl, I want to see the cotton shoes behind you. Look, that's normal, right?" "Normal, then how about using Shaanxi dialect?" "I want to keep an eye on the nest behind your hook!" The whole audience burst into laughter, and Qi Long asked back: "You said this won't get you beaten?" The topic of their time travel started with the Shaanxi dialect. Qi Long made a few jokes in the dialect, so Dong Qiang curiously asked him what made him start studying the Shaanxi dialect? Qi Long said that he recently discovered the secret of time travel from reading a book, so he prepared to travel through time. Naturally, he had to be well prepared. First of all, he had to be able to speak the language of the ancients, so he learned the Shaanxi dialect, which was most similar to the language of the ancients. "In which book can I learn about time travel?" "The Son-in-Law, Shao Song." Qi Long opened his mouth and recited a large number of online novels. "Huh?"
"These books are all about time travel. Through sorting through these books, I discovered the secret of time travel!" "What secret?" "You have to die. Some people crossed over by crashing into a dump truck, some crossed over by touching the electric switch, and some crossed over by falling into a well. They all died. I want to die too. I have been searching for a long time at home. How can I die? Oh, I have an idea. I found a toothpick and I will stab myself to death!!" "Does that stuff work?" "It hurt so much that I rushed to the hospital. The doctor said it was a good thing I got there in time." "Why is it so hard?" "If you're any later, the wound will have healed!" "This doesn't work, so I'll just jump into the well. I went to the street and found a well, but when I looked, I realized I couldn't move it. It was welded shut." "I didn't succeed again!" "How about I bang my head against the wall? Let's be more polite. People live there, and they run shops there. We can't bang our heads against the wall there. A place with people hanging around will become a haunted house. I'll go to the unfinished buildings in the suburbs. They're all unfinished, so they're okay, right? I accelerated and sprinted forward, banging my head against the wall." "What's wrong?" "It's broken! The wall is broken. No, it's just that your wall is too shabby!" "How else would it end so badly?" "I got a bump on my head, but I still didn't make it through. Oh, I thought, forget it, don't bother, I'll just go out on the street and get bumped!" "Oh, you got hit by a car because you were trying to cross?" "That's right!" "Then you succeeded?" "After being hit by the car, I lost consciousness very quickly. When I opened my eyes again, I smelled the hospital disinfectant, the clean and tidy ward, raisins on the bedside table, and my crying parents. "Child, are you awake?" "Your family is worried about you!" "I quickly tried to persuade them, Mom and Dad, it's okay, I'm practicing time travel, oh, eh? Who bought these raisins? I don't like eating them. My mom said: I bought fresh grapes, but you've been lying down for a year and they've turned into raisins! Your dad and I don't want to live anymore because you've been lying down for a year!" "Yes!" Dongqiang took the opportunity to take advantage. Qi Long looked back at him, and Dong Qiang explained: "Substitute, substitute, you substitute for aunt, I substitute for uncle, you continue, continue!" "I feel guilty. You said it was not easy for my parents to raise me, but I went out to get hit by a car and try to travel through time. I am so unfilial. Ouch, I slapped myself on the spot!" "Admit your mistakes and correct them!" "Pia, there were stars in my eyes, and then a white light flashed in front of me, eh?" "What's wrong?" "I traveled through time!" Qi Long said proudly. Here's a little joke. If it's so easy to travel through time, why bother going through so much trouble? "Huh? You can travel through time by giving yourself a smack in the face?"
Qi Long: "Yes! All my previous efforts were in vain. It doesn't matter. My dream has come true. I felt a strong hunger, as if I hadn't eaten for five days. I lay on the ground powerless. At first glance, I was a beggar." "It's better not to travel through time!" "Oh, I'm so hungry. At this moment, I smelled a delicious aroma and heard someone weakly shouting, 'It's time to eat!' I tried to stand up, but I was too weak to stand up and fell down again!" "Don't get too hungry!" "As soon as I fell, my vision went dark, and then I felt a large group of people surrounding me and lifting me up. They all cared about me very much, and they hurriedly carried me away. The words they said proved our relationship." "what relationship?" "An acquaintance. They carried me and ran while shouting: Another acquaintance. Then they threw me into water that was hotter than the bathhouse." "Such an acquaintance? You are a joke from hell." "Knowing my fate, I quickly shouted: Don't bully the poor young man!" "What's this mess?" “Many time-travel novels say this, and then they become awesome. I open my eyes and I’m back. I’m very disappointed with this time-travel journey. I can’t be a beggar. I have to be rich. I slap myself, and a white light flashes before my eyes, and I’m back again.” "Okay, this time?" "This time, I'm fine. I'm not wearing anything very decent, but at least it's not patched and airtight. I have a butcher's shop at home, and I'm chopping meat there. People around me are very respectful and greet me with smiles when they see me!" "This identity is not bad!" "That's right. At this time, a burly man came to my shop and pointed at the meat I was selling: Give me ten pounds of lean minced meat, not a single ounce of fat!" "Zhen Guanxi?" Dong Qiang stared in shock. This is a classic scene from "Water Margin", the story of how Zhen Guanxi was killed with three punches. Everyone understood it immediately and burst into laughter. "I was also stunned. I am Zhen Guanxi? I have to cut the lean parts first, then the fat parts, then the crispy bones. I was beaten to death as soon as I got impatient. I quickly thought about whether I should greet him with a smile and then work honestly. As a result, the person opposite punched me: I told you to cut, but you didn't. Do you look down on me?" "Well, we don't have to cut fat and gristle!" "There was a sharp pain, more painful than being hit by a car. I shouted angrily: Don't bully the poor young man. I closed my eyes and opened them again. I was back. No, this time I have to travel through time and become the richest one." This time he traveled through time and space and became a high-ranking official. There was a banquet of Manchu and Han cuisine on the table, and in front of him were various beautiful women serving him. When he asked who he was, he learned that he was Mr. He. "I am Heshen, hahahaha, this is a powerful official, rich, he used to live in Prince Gong's Mansion in the imperial capital, hey, he has a lot of wealth, and he has a very good relationship with the emperor, I am very proud, I told my subordinates to work hard with me, let me work hard." "Hey, what are you pursuing?" "Anyway, work hard with me, and I will recommend you to Emperor Qianlong! The servant said: Master, you forgot that Emperor Qianlong has passed away for more than ten days!" Well, it's time for "Heshen fell, Jiaqing was full", and it's over again "Don't bully young people into poverty!" (End of this chapter)