Chapter 60: Chapter 60 That person is already gone Chapter 60: Chapter 60 That person is already gone Xingxing, I’m sorry I wasn’t with you when you were scared.
Xingxing, I’m sorry I made you do so many things at home that you shouldn’t have to do at your age.
I’m sorry I always neglected you,
I was as if blinded by lard, unable to see anything.
Xingxing, I’m sorry, I’m not a good mother.
“Sorry?”
Bai Zhi’s lips barely moved as she whispered, then turned around. She looked at the tear-stained woman with a face devoid of expression.
“The words ‘I’m sorry’ are too pale, meaningless.”
Bai Zhi’s nose also felt sour, as if something was about to burst from her eyes.
What’s the use of apologies?
The person you neglected is gone.
The person you are sorry for can no longer hear.
Can no longer hear.
“When I wanted you, you didn’t see my sadness,
When I wanted to get close, you didn’t see my injury,
In your eyes, I didn’t exist, and the dolls weren’t my choice.
Cooking and washing dishes, doing chores weren’t what I liked either, I can get tired.
I can feel pain, I too wanted a mother’s love, to be soothed by my mother,
When I was hurt, I wanted my mother to blow on it. I also wanted new clothes, new shoes.
I also wanted to eat delicious food.
But you didn’t see it.
You never even asked me.
Now, I don’t want anything.”
Because the person who wanted those things, Bai Zhi, is gone.
Do these words hurt?
Of course, they hurt,
But who knows how much the original owner suffered?
Such a young age, doing so much, desperately working.
Who knows how to do chores from the start?
Their family had no adults, and she figured out how to use those hoes with one wound after another.
Yes, this is the group pet’s world, but as a mother, can you really see nothing at all?
Bai Zhi didn’t know, but she only knew one thing,
The original owner is gone, that simple-minded one who wanted her love, her efforts, her grievances, Ye Xiu should know, at least Ye Xiu still has a little conscience now.
As for Bai Da, oh, that person,
Even if you speak, people wouldn’t care. So there’s no need to speak.
Where there’s a wound, only by opening it and cutting away the rotten flesh can there be new life.
If Ye Xiu could understand the pain and grievances of the original owner, maybe in the future, it wouldn’t be impossible to get along.
A simple relationship, but if you really let Bai Zhi call her mother and completely thaw the past, it might be impossible.
Because at this moment, Bai Zhi’s heart aches deeply. Although she shouldn’t have anything to be sad about, yet, when she uttered those words. Her chest ached deeply as if her own grievances had finally been voiced.
Bai Zhi clutched where her heart was and walked towards Bai Fei, who had gone ahead to wait for her.
“Look, that’s our home over there, Grandpa is still waiting for us, and so is our cousin. In this world, there are still people who love us, so forget those people.”
Those who hurt you, just leave them behind.
The ache in her heart slowly faded,
Bai Zhi turned around and saw Ye Xiu still squatting there, tears streaming down her face.
She looked so pained and helpless…
Bai Zhi closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, she felt nothing, just a sense of indifference.
“Cousin, let’s go back, I really want some cake.”
At that moment, Bai Zhi felt she needed cake, to let the excessive sweetness reduce the bitterness in her mouth.
Bai Fei glanced at Ye Xiu, still sunk in sorrow and pain, hesitating a bit, wondering if it was okay for them just to leave like this.
Bai Zhi seemed to see right through Bai Fei’s doubts.
“Cousin, many things can’t be fixed with a simple apology; inside, it’s already dead.”
Bai Zhi pointed to the area over her heart, which felt empty.
Empty of everything.
If saying sorry could act as though nothing had ever happened,
then what was the value of everything the original owner had gone through?
Maybe Ye Xiu had come to a realization, and maybe now she wanted to make amends, but it was all too late.
“Bai Zhi, I understand. It’s like when my brother broke my toy and then gave me a new one, but it’s not the same as the original, nor is it the same feeling I had when I first had that toy.”
Bai Fei held Bai Zhi’s hand, comforting her, feeling ever so sorry for her; she resolved to treat her even better from now on.
Indeed, it was no longer the same as before.
No longer,
and never would be again.
Not long after Bai Zhi and her cousin left, Bai Da, worried because Ye Xiu hadn’t returned, went to look for her and found her squatting on the ground crying her heart out. He rushed over in a panic and hurriedly helped Ye Xiu up.
“Xiuxiu, what’s wrong? Did Bai Zhi upset you? I’ll go find her right now!”
Bai Da blurted out without thinking, and Ye Xiu felt a chill in her heart. Was this what Bai Da always thought of Xingxing?
She forcefully shook off Bai Da’s hand, looking at him with disappointment.
“Why do you always think Xingxing is the one at fault? Xingxing’s mistake? Why don’t you see that Xingxing is unhappy about something!”
Ye Xiu nearly collapsed as she shouted out, as if questioning Bai Da, but also questioning herself.
She had gone to town three years ago, and Bai Da had brought Xixi home three years ago. What had Xingxing gone through in all those years?
Back then, Xingxing too was an innocent little girl who had also wanted to be held.
But at that time, all her enthusiasm had been devoted to school, trying to achieve something. She had trusted Bai Da too much, far too much.
But then again, she had no right to blame Bai Da because she herself had always neglected Xingxing.
Neglected?
Why?
Why had she neglected her own daughter?
Ye Xiu’s mind had never been as clear as at this moment.
Xingxing was her little girl, who in the past, had always been the apple of her eye. But why had she become more and more neglectful of Xingxing over time?
Ye Xiu always felt as if there was something that flashed through her mind too quickly to grasp.
“I… No, Xiuxiu, I just thought you came looking for Bai Zhi because she made you upset. Let’s go back.”
Bai Da, supporting Ye Xiu, looked at the doll on the ground. It was clearly not a cheap one, going by the looks of it—it would cost a few dozen yuan and came with several outfits to change into.
“Bai Da, you still haven’t answered my question. Why do you only buy gifts for Xixi and not for Xingxing? Are you doing it deliberately, deliberately neglecting Xingxing?”
Ye Xiu was not easily fooled. She grabbed Bai Da’s hand and looked at him coldly.
“Xiuxiu, I didn’t. I did buy something, but, I just haven’t taken it out yet.”
Bai Da pulled a hair clip from her bag; it was red with a cherry design.
As Bai Da usually didn’t choose these things, Ye Xiu couldn’t tell if it was a genuine gesture.
“Take it back, Xingxing won’t want it.”