Chapter 61: Chapter 61 Because She Despaired Chapter 61: Chapter 61 Because She Despaired “Why doesn’t she want it?”
Bai Da didn’t quite understand. Bai Zhi used to fight over everything with Xixi, but now she was suddenly saying she didn’t want it.
What was this about, what was she planning to do?
“Xiuxiu, I think Bai Zhi has been acting strange lately. Very strange. Ever since her fall, she’s been picking fights with Bai Yu and Bai Ye, saying she doesn’t like them, and now she’s saying she doesn’t want presents either. What on earth is she up to?”
Bai Da frowned, clearly displeased. He had no idea what that girl Bai Zhi was trying to do.
Was she trying to get Bai Ye and Bai Yu to apologize? Or was she expecting an apology from him, her father?
Impossible.
“What does she want?”
Ye Xiu’s gaze seemed empty, a particularly sharp pain at the center of her chest.
“She doesn’t want anything anymore, she’s disappointed, heartbroken. She has no more expectations…”
Xingxing, she didn’t want anything anymore.
He said, she was tired.
She no longer wanted to hope.
She just didn’t want to expect anything anymore.
Her Xingxing, her Xingxing.
“Xiuxiu?”
Bai Da didn’t quite understand and could only lead Ye Xiu back the way they came. Ye Xiu was very tired and didn’t want to talk at all.
She didn’t know what she was thinking. Her daughter’s words echoed in her head over and over again.
And it made her ask herself again and again, how had she driven her daughter to this point?
Her daughter was disappointed. She was only ten years old, today was her tenth birthday, yet she was already disappointed with her parents and had no more expectations.
“Xiuxiu, don’t be sad, kids, they’ll forget in a couple of days. Stop thinking about it.”
Bai Da was especially heartbroken. Xiuxiu hadn’t come back for a whole week, and it had been such a challenge to have her return today. He couldn’t let her suffer like this.
“I…”
How could she not think about it? Xingxing was so upset, so disappointed, and finally, in despair. Every word she said was like a knife, stabbing deep into her heart.
Guilt, pain, regret, all sorts of emotions were intertwining in her heart.
She returned home in a daze, where the children were at the table with a cake on it. Ye Xiu was slightly bewildered; she hadn’t bought a cake, had she?
“I bought it. Today is Xixi’s…” Bai Da paused, “their birthday, so I bought a cake.”
Bai Da’s eyes turned toward the little girl who clearly wanted to eat the cake but was holding back.
At that moment, his gaze softened somewhat.
“Xixi, where are your brothers?”
He looked out into the yard, but no one was there.
“Brothers went to get something, Mom, are you back?”
The group pet ran up to Ye Xiu, eyes sparkling with joy upon seeing her, and took her hand, very happy.
“Mom, you’re back, I missed you so much. Where’s my sister? Let’s eat cake together?”
Xixi clearly wanted to eat. But she was so sensible. In Bai Da’s eyes, the group pet was everything wonderful.
“I… ”
Ye Xiu’s mood was terrible. Her mind was a complete mess; all she could see was the look of near despair in Xingxing’s eyes, as if at that moment, she had lost hope in the entire world.
She was in no mood for cake, sometimes even wondering if she hadn’t had Xixi, would she still have ignored Xingxing.
Just like now. Even though her heart was in pain and she wanted to say she needed to rest, the words on her lips softened unconsciously.
Xixi, how come you’re so good, knowing to wait for Mommy?
Ye Xiu froze completely, waves of fear rising in her heart…
Just now, she hadn’t really thought that way, but confronted with Xixi’s gaze, she felt like she had forgotten everything.
It was as if a voice inside her was telling her that Xixi was the best. Xixi was the best; she had to love Xixi the most. They were a happy family.
The more innocent Xixi’s eyes, the more intensely she could feel it in her heart.
Ye Xiu suddenly stepped back. In that moment just now, she suddenly remembered Xingxing’s little face, that face of despair, and she snapped back to reality.
Bai Da quickly supported Ye Xiu, looking at her with concern.
“What’s wrong, Xiuxiu?”
The group pet felt somewhat hurt. Was she being rejected?
“I, something’s not right, I feel dizzy, I want to rest.”
Hearing Ye Xiu say that, Bai Da saw no reason not to comply. He quickly helped Ye Xiu to lie down and even tucked her in.
But Ye Xiu was trembling all over. A cold feeling crept across her heart; she began to recall carefully when it was that she started to ignore Xingxing.
It seemed to be when Xixi arrived, chubby and adorable, capturing her affection instantly without any reason.
Yet she still hadn’t ignored Xingxing, only that her gaze increasingly focused on Xixi.
Later, she went to school and suddenly felt a strong desire to go, trusting Bai Da and the children unconditionally.
Every time she returned, she became closer to Xixi, a subtle and gradual shift…
Now that she thought about it, it was terrifying.
Why did those feelings of affection toward Xixi surge in her heart just now, constantly wanting to hold Xixi close and be kind to her?
Yet, her mood was terrible, burdened with the weight of knowing Xingxing’s despair; how could she possibly be smiling and holding Xixi?
So, why did she feel that way?
It was fine at school, but every time she returned and saw Xixi, her gaze was involuntarily drawn to the child, and then she forgot about Xingxing.
Ye Xiu felt it was frightening,
She didn’t understand what was really going on in her heart, but she wanted to go back to school; she needed to clear her head.
It was at this time that Bai Da came back, feeling worried.
He held two pieces of cake in his hands, placing them beside Ye Xiu.
“Xiuxiu, are you feeling better? They’re all eagerly waiting for you.”
Bai Da remembered how they looked, a slight smile curling the corners of his mouth, feeling a sense of happiness.
“Bai Da, what do you think of Xixi?”
“Smart and lovely, well-behaved and sensible; Xixi has never complained despite the hardships we endure. Xixi is truly understanding,” Bai Da didn’t hide his feelings, articulating each word clearly.
“Is that so?”
Ye Xiu looked into Bai Da’s eyes, unable to discern anything in that moment.
She found it very strange, really strange. Her heart felt so peculiar.
“Mm, of course, don’t you think so too? Let’s go on a spring outing together tomorrow; it’s been a long time since we’ve gone. We used to take things, and Bai Ye and the others would go up the mountain to fly kites with us.”
Bai Da wanted to lighten Ye Xiu’s mood, speaking immediately. He couldn’t bear to see Ye Xiu upset, even for a moment.
“Let’s talk about it tomorrow, I’m tired. I’ll rest for a while.”
Ye Xiu wanted to see if she would still hear or feel this prompting voice in the room if she stayed there.
She needed to understand what was really going on, whether in her heart she truly saw Xixi as more important than Xingxing.
Or was she being influenced by something else?