Chapter 9: Your Illness is a Bit… Absolutely Crazy
Pfft.
Qin Jiang’s words were earth-shattering!
Sun Wei was laughing so hard on the side that she couldn’t straighten up.
Wu Tong directly put on a pained expression.
“Doctor, are you… always this direct when you speak?”
Qin Jiang comforted him, “It’s alright, Young man, anal fissures aren’t some unmentionable illness, at least I… don’t have them.”
Wu Tong had initially thought Qin Jiang was going to say he had them too.
But Qin Jiang immediately took a turn!
If you don’t have them, why are you talking nonsense!
Don’t act like you empathize with me!
“Put your hand here, I’ll take your pulse.”
Wu Tong placed his hand on the pulse pillow.
The moment Qin Jiang placed his hand on it, his expression immediately changed.
The look he gave Wu Tong contained three parts incomprehension, three parts doubt, two parts shock, and one part admiration.
Wu Tong panicked.
“Doctor, I’m not going to have some terminal illness, am I?”
After a moment of silence, Qin Jiang said, “This isn’t a terminal illness, this is a bit… absolutely crazy.”
Wu Tong didn’t know whether to laugh or cry: “What time is it now? Doctor, can’t you be serious?”
Qin Jiang sighed: “Have you been experiencing frequent diarrhea recently?”
Wu Tong nodded: “Yes, I’ve been drinking a lot of milk recently, and I get diarrhea whenever I drink milk.”
“I saw online that they said this is called something like lactose intolerance.”
Qin Jiang rolled his eyes at him: “Brother, this has nothing to do with lactose intolerance. Even if you don’t drink milk, you’ll still have diarrhea.”
Wu Tong gave an “oh” and stopped talking.
“You also like to fart, right?”
Wu Tong nodded again.
Sun Wei, perhaps wanting to regain her lost dignity, also chimed in, “Yes, Doctor, he farts often, and his farts are much smellier than mine!”
Sun Wei thought she had regained her dignity, unaware that the audience in the live stream was already looking at them with pity.
“Could these two be the legendary Farting Couple?”
“Two fart kings together, I can’t even imagine how intense that scene is. Is one toilet at home really enough?”
“At night, when they sleep, everyone upstairs and downstairs thinks there are firecrackers going off outside.”
After taking his pulse, Qin Jiang already had a good idea of what illness Wu Tong had.
“Stick out your tongue for me to see.”
Wu Tong stuck out his tongue; his tongue coating was purple, and the blue veins under his tongue were bulging, looking a bit scary.
“You have a lot of dampness.”
Just as Wu Tong was about to explain, Qin Jiang said again, “You have hemorrhoids, right?”
Wu Tong was directly silenced.
This doctor is not right.
Each time it seems like a rhetorical question, but in reality, it’s always an affirmative statement.
Is this rhetorical question serving to emphasize affirmation?
This doctor has perfect scores in Chinese!
Wu Tong asked uneasily, “Doctor, so what exactly is my illness?”
Qin Jiang said, “Oh, it’s nothing serious, just hemorrhoids and prolapse, and a bit of diabetes.”
Wu Tong felt relieved after hearing this and glanced at Sun Wei triumphantly.
“I told you I was in good health, didn’t I?”
Sun Wei scoffed, clearly unable to accept Wu Tong being so smug.
Wu Tong struck while the iron was hot, continuing to ask, “Then Doctor, can my prolapse and hemorrhoids be cured?”
Qin Jiang started looking at Wu Tong with that strange gaze again, which made Wu Tong feel uneasy.
Just as Wu Tong was about to buckle under the psychological pressure, Qin Jiang finally said, while writing the prescription, “Young man, don’t play too wildly.”
Sun Wei, standing beside him, blushed, thinking Qin Jiang was still talking about their previous incident.
Can’t you let it go!
Wu Tong, however, was thick-skinned and didn’t think much of it.
After all, being able to make his girlfriend obedient was a skill, wasn’t it?
Who knew that Qin Jiang’s next sentence would directly break him down.
Holy crap!
Explosive!
Wu Tong felt like he was splitting apart.
Sun Wei felt like her head was splitting apart.
The audience in the live stream felt their worldview was splitting apart!
“Brothers, my brain capacity isn’t enough. What does Zhubo mean by that?”
“Ah, it’s an eyesore, too much of an eyesore! How I wish I hadn’t clicked into this live stream!”
Inside the medical hall.
The silence was so profound that a falling needle could be heard, terrifyingly quiet!
Wu Tong sat on the stool, trembling like a sieve.
At this moment, he regretted it, deeply regretted it!
How he wished he hadn’t walked into this medical hall!
Isn’t this just asking for it?
If he had just gone to a proper Western medicine hospital, wouldn’t everything have been fine?
Why did he have to come here to see a traditional Chinese medicine doctor?
“Xiao Wei, listen to my sophistry… oh no, listen to my explanation.”
Wu Tong tried to take Sun Wei’s hand.
Who knew Sun Wei immediately pulled away, looking at Wu Tong with a horrified expression, as if looking at a monster!
“You…”
When Sun Wei asked this, her voice was trembling.
Sun Wei felt extremely nauseated!
Wu Tong knelt on the ground, crying and saying, “Xiao Wei, before I met you, I admit my hobbies were a bit problematic. But after meeting you, I truly only love you alone!”
Sun Wei did not immediately believe Wu Tong’s nonsense, but continued to ask, “If that’s the case, then why do you still have contact?”
Wonderful, truly wonderful!
Qin Jiang picked up his teacup, pretending to drink tea, but actually enjoying the gossip.
He could indeed know Wu Tong’s physical condition through pulse diagnosis, but Qin Jiang really couldn’t guess this complicated love triangle story involving you, me, and him.
“Xiao Wei, please give me another chance. I’ll call him later and explain things clearly to him, so he won’t come looking for me again, okay?”
Sun Wei shook her head in disappointment.
“Wu Tong, let’s break up. You only make me feel disgusted now!”
After saying this, Sun Wei picked up her things and ran out without looking back.
“No! Xiao Wei!”
Wu Tong wanted to chase after her, but Qin Jiang quickly stepped forward to stop him.
“Brother, don’t be so sad.”
Wu Tong cried like a child.
The fans in the live stream also stopped sending bullet comments.
They didn’t expect Zhubo to have such a tender side.
“About that, you haven’t paid your consultation fee yet.”
“It’s nine hundred yuan in total. Scan the QR code or pay cash?”
Beast!
This Zhubo is truly inhumane!
Wu Tong looked at the smiling Qin Jiang and cried even louder.
A moment later, Wu Tong calmed down and scanned the QR code, sobbing.
“Doctor, please prescribe me some more medicine. I feel like I’m going to have diarrhea again.”
Qin Jiang nodded with a serious expression.